Into the Void
by LostLonelyBoi
Summary: Rubble lies everywhere I look. Somehow I've ended up on what's left of the ledge and looking down around me. Dark thoughts enter my head and I contemplate taking that final step. This is what's left of me. I am broken and beaten; an empty shell of who I once was. [[ trigger warning for suicidal thoughts/cutting - proceed with caution ]]
1. Chapter 1

I can't breathe. I feel as if I'm suffocating. I have to get out of here. The war is finally over. Families have been torn apart. Fighting and being on the run for the past year has left me drained. I'm just standing here, silent and still, an empty shell that is supposed to be Hermione Granger. I'm no longer the brightest witch of my age.

Arms suddenly surround me and spin me around. Before I know what's happening, my wand is pointed at his face. "Are you trying to get yourself killed Ronald!" I couldn't control the anger rising from my voice. My hand starts shaking violently and the fear on his face was more than I could stand. I turn around and start running. The whole family was standing nearby and saw the whole ordeal. The fear in Gin's eyes hurt me the most.

I'm running as fast as I can. I have no idea where I'm going but I know I have to get out of here. I can't face him; I can't face anyone right now. My legs have taken me to what's left of the Astronomy tower. The view breaks my heart. My beloved school and second home is in ruins.

"Bloody hell!" Ron shakes his head in disbelief. Ginny comes up to stand beside him. "Did you see what happened just now?" he asks her. "All I did was hug her. Next thing I know, her wand is in my face, she's screaming at me, and then running off. What the hell!"

"Stay and help mom out. I'll go find her," Ginny tries to reassure him. She has no idea where Hermione is. There are a million places she could have run to and probably only half of those are now accessible due to the chaos and destruction.

The tower was only half as tall as it once was. Rubble lies everywhere I look. Somehow I've ended up on what's left of the ledge and looking down around me. Dark thoughts enter my head and I contemplate taking that final step. This is what's left of me. I am broken and beaten; an empty shell of who I once was. What was the purpose of this damn war if I was feeling like this? I thought I would feel free when it was over. I am still standing dangerously close to the edge when I hear a small rock fall. I turn around in the direction the sound came from and my heart lifts a little.

"Mione." It was barely a whisper but it reached my ears. My heart swells just a bit before blackness consumes me.

Ginny had never been more thankful for her quick reflexes due to playing Quidditch. She was able to catch Hermione before she hit the ground. Not quite knowing what to do she sent her patronus off to Madame Pomfrey. Gin knew better at this point than try to take Hermione back herself. She needed to keep the older girl away from prying eyes and that seemed to especially include her brother.

Tears were streaming down her face, sobs trying to erupt from her throat. "Stay with me Mione. I can't lose you too." She held the girl tightly in her arms until help arrived.

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A/N: I apologize for the bad formatting this had. I didn't realize it was all run together.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy.

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Ch 2

I'm not sure where I am. Bright light is trying to force itself upon me. I feel the presence of someone near me and a hand in mine. I try to open my eyes but they refuse. I don't mind much once I begin to hear the hushed voices around me.

I hear Ron's voice and it makes me cringe. He's been in love with me for years. I thought I was with him, but after the kiss we shared during the battle I knew immediately my feelings for him had changed. It was a meaningless kiss in the middle of chaos; simply a shared moment in time. I have to end this before it gets worse.

His voice keeps fading and coming back. He must be pacing, which means the hand in mine is not his. This brings me relief but I still don't know whose hand it is. Whoever it is, they aren't speaking. I hear Harry's voice too. He seems to be far away from me. That narrows it down then I guess.

Madame Pomfrey's voice starts filling the air and telling everyone they need to leave. Relief fills me again as the hand refuses to leave mine. Shuffling steps soon become silence and I can feel the nurse doing her diagnostic tests on me.

"She should wake soon," I hear the school nurse say before she walks away. Quiet sobs work their way to my ears. I still can't move or speak. Whatever potions the nurse gave me really need to wear off. Not that I could go anywhere when I'm surrounded by others.

Here I am, left to my thoughts. Let me tell you, it's not a pretty place to be. I am trying hard to not think about the void in my body. But the harder I try, the stronger it grows. I need out of here. I've got to get away. Dammit I wish I could move! My head finally quiets down and I fall asleep.

... "Crucio!" Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs. Bellatrix wanted answers and she wouldn't tell her what she wanted to hear. She was telling the truth after all. Soon enough, the feel of a blade against skin brought forth a guttural scream followed by a maniacal laugh. Bellatrix took her time carving in the dreaded name. By the time she got to the end Hermione was welcoming the feel of blade against skin. …

When I woke up I didn't know where I was. It took a bit for my eyes to adjust to the low lighting of the hospital wing. My right arm is numb because someone is asleep on my forearm. I don't dare move because I don't want to wake up whoever it is. My left arm is itching badly and I suddenly remember my nightmare. Oh how I wish I didn't dream about that night. That night haunts me every night and day and makes the void expand. I have to find a way to get out of here.

I see Madame Pomfrey walking towards me. I raise my finger to my mouth so she won't say anything. She runs another diagnostic spell and gives me a thumb up. I smile weakly at her and nod. I look over at the red head sleeping on my arm.

"Gin." It comes out as barely a whisper as my voice doesn't want to work. "Ginny, it's time to wake up."

She still doesn't hear me so I try to gently pull my arm out from under her. I hear a groan come from the sleeping girl but she doesn't move. I slowly get out of the bed as to not wake her up and leave the wing.

I find myself avoiding everyone at all costs. I don't want to see anyone; especially Ron. Mrs. Weasley spots me as I'm trying to get out of the castle. Soon I'm embraced in one of her bear hugs and can't get away.

"Hermione, dear, I've been so worried about you."

"I'm fine. Really. I have to leave." I try turning away but Molly won't let me.

"You will do no such thing dear. You're coming with us to the Burrow. I'll hear nothing of it. Come, let's find the boys and Ginny."

I groan to myself. This is the last thing I want. An hour later finds us all in the kitchen of the Burrow and Molly immediately starts making breakfast for everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy.

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Ch 3

Breakfast was quiet and the silence was deadening. I excused myself and went out for a walk. I had no idea where I was going but I found myself walking along the stream that flowed near the edge of the Weasley property. I found the log that stretched over the stream and crossed it and started following the path up the hill. I soon found myself at a small clearing overlooking the valley and the Burrow.

My arm was starting to hurt for some reason. I looked down to see why and saw that I had scratched it raw again over the letters that were carved into my skin. Everything came crashing down again. I have to get out of here and I have to do it soon.

The sound of a branch breaking catches my attention and I'm on my feet with my wand drawn. Ginny steps into the clearing and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hey" the young girl says cautiously. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

I sit back down on the ground still clutching my wand. She slowly comes up and sits beside me.

"Are you ok" she asks.

"No Gin, I'm not." I don't look over at her; I can't. If I were to look at her she would see the fear in my eyes and I can't allow that.

"I'm here for you, always, whenever you're ready to talk. Mum's worried so you might want to think about coming back to the Burrow. I expect dinner to be ready soon."

Have I really been out here this long? Ginny stands up and takes a few steps away. I can see her look at me out of the corner of my eye before she decides to start heading back. A few more minutes pass before I give in and start walking back too.

I stop at the edge of the tree line of the garden and sit down next to one of the trees. I'm trying to hold back the tears and the void that wants to consume me. I catch a glimpse of another red headed figure walking toward me.

"Go away Ron." There was a bite to my words. They weren't necessarily callous but they weren't friendly either.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" He tries to envelop me in his arms but I get my arm extended before he can.

"I said go away. What part of that didn't you understand?" Here we go. This isn't going to end well. Maybe this can be my escape. I'm on my feet and trying to get past him. Ron grabs my arm and swings me back around. Unlucky for him as my hand happens to leave a nasty mark across his face. "Don't. Touch. Me."

"What the hell Hermione?" The look on his face was a mixture of sadness and surprise.

I turn around and sprint back to the house. I manage not to rip the door off its hinges and slow down enough to walk through the house and upstairs to the room I share with Ginny. Everyone's eyes had been on me as I had walked through the kitchen. A few minutes later I heard the door open and close followed by Mrs. Weasley's voice, "Ron what happened to you?"

"Hermione" was all he could say.

"Well, maybe you should give her some space. You've all been through a great ordeal. Come, sit down and have dinner. Don't look at me like that young man. Sit down."

I silently thank Molly for making him stay down there.

I put some silencing and locking charms on the door to keep everyone out. My trunk escaped damage that night the Burrow was attacked by death eaters last summer during Bill &amp; Fleur's wedding. I pulled my beaded bag out of my pocket and emptied its contents. I quickly take inventory of everything and start replacing my bag's contents with clothes and immediate necessities leaving all my books in my trunk.

There's a faint knocking on the door. I release the silencing charm and stay quiet. I can see the shadow of someone sitting on the other side.

"Mione, it's Gin. I just want to know if you're alright."

"May as well come in, Gin. It's your room anyhow." I release the locking charms to let her in.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm trying to transition into 3rd person. There may be some more 1st person in future chapters however.**

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Ginny noticed the open trunk in the room. She had a feeling as to what was coming but really hoped she's wrong. "Tell me you're not leaving."

"I have to Gin. There's nothing for me here right now. I have to go find my parents anyhow." Hermione couldn't even look the younger girl in the eyes. She didn't want Ginny to see the pain that lay under the surface.

"Well take me with you. I'll help you find them. Surely two heads would be better than one."

The younger girl was trying hard no to sound like she was begging. Hermione is her best friend and she didn't want to spend another moment away from her. The past year was really hard on Ginny since her friends had disappeared to start their quest.

"Gin, you know your mum would never let you come with me. I made my parents forget everything and move all on my own, so it's up to me to make things right again. I have to fix what I did and only I can do that."

Hermione chanced looking up to see Ginny's reaction. She wasn't surprised to see the disappointment on the girl's face.

With a tear trailing its way down her face, Ginny simply asked "When?"

"I'm not sure… as soon as I can. I have to make sure that I have everything I need first."

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did Gin"

"When did the great Hermione Granger get a sense of humor?" A smirk crept upon the younger girls face. "Seriously though… What happened with Ron?" Ginny knew automatically that she crossed a line when she saw the look on her friends face.

"I don't want to talk about him. And please don't tell him that I'm leaving. I can't deal with that right now."

"You know I'm here for you right? You can talk to me about anything."

"I know Gin, but I can't right now. It hurts too much and I need to be alone for a while."

"Do you know what you're going to do after you find your parents?"

"Come back home most likely. That is if I can find them."

"What about school? Do you think you'll finish your last year?"

"I'm not sure Gin. I haven't really thought about it yet."

Mrs. Weasley could be heard calling everyone for dinner. As much as Hermione didn't want to deal with everyone she decided to go down for at least one last Weasley family meal.

"Come on Gin. I want to get this over with quick as possible." She reached her hand out for the youngest Weasley and pulled her into a hug. "Promise me you won't give up on me."

"Never Mione."

Dinner was a quiet affair. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley kept trying to get conversation going but no one would take the bait. Hermione kept thinking of all the things she needed to get accomplished. First she would return to her home to check on the state of things and use her computer to try to locate her parents through the Internet. She would also have to book a flight to Australia and find lodging.

Her nerves were beginning to fray when she noticed that Ron wouldn't quit staring at her. "It's not nice to stare at people, Ronald."

"Huh?" Ron replied. "I...I wasn't. I...Um..."

"You were Ronald and it's very unbecoming."

Hermione stood up and took her plate and cup into the kitchen. She stood at the sink with her hands on the counter, oblivious to Ron following her in. He put his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Hermione spun around at the sudden touch; an imprint of her hand darkening over Ron's face.

"What part of don't touch me did you forget!" She didn't mean for the words to escape so loudly. Conversation from the dining area had completely ceased.

Hermione left the kitchen and headed for the bedroom to grab her bag. She bolted back down the stairs, out the back door, and ran for the other side of the garden. Ginny was out the door as well trying to catch the older girl.

"Her..." Before Ginny could get her name out she heard the small pop of her best friend leaving. "…mione, please don't go... "

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Hopefully the next chapter will be on time; I have at least half of it written so far. I have a huge art paper to finish writing by this weekend. fun stuff!


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Here's Ch5 a day early just because I can't wait til tomorrow.**

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Ginny dropped to her knees, sobbing loudly. She had no idea where Hermione was going or when she'd be back. It felt as if her heart was breaking into a million pieces and she had no idea why.

The back door could be heard opening and closing. Ginny just stayed where she was at, frozen in place.

"Ginny, dear, where'd Hermione go?" Mrs. Weasley asked, wrapping her arms around her daughter.

"She left mum... I... I... I have no idea where she went. I wanted to go with her; she wouldn't let me." Another sob left the young girl's mouth.

Molly lifted Ginny up on her feet and ushered her back to the house. Ginny slowly made her way up to her bedroom and collapsed on her bed. A few moments later there was a knock on the door.

"Leave me alone," she said to whoever was on the other side of the door.

"Ginny, let me in. What's going on?" Harry asked.

Ginny got up off her bed and opened the door a crack. "Are you alone?"

"Yeah" he answered.

She opened the door to let him in. Harry sat down on the camp bed that Hermione used. Ginny shut the door and returned to her bed while casting silencing spells on the door. Harry didn't say anything and waited for her to speak first.

"I don't know why she left Harry. She wouldn't even tell me what happened with Ron. I know she was planning on leaving, but I thought I had more time. She wouldn't let me go with her, said my mum probably wouldn't let me. I caught her going through her trunk there, but I have no idea what she took or what she left."

Harry listened in silence as she rambled on while processing everything she was saying.

"I have to find her Harry. I can't lose her." Ginny sounded absolutely defeated as she spoke.

"Don't worry Gin. I'm sure she'll be ok. We're not going to lose her. It's Hermione we're talking about after all. Do you have any idea where she was going?" He thought he knew where she'd go but wasn't entirely sure.

"All I know is she wants to find her parents. She said she has to do it alone since what she did to them was done alone. It was a bit cryptic if you ask me." Ginny had a slight smirk on her face as she said the last bit.

"So she's going to Australia. That helps us out a bit you know. Get some sleep tonight Gin. I'll try to locate her before she leaves for there. You know how Hermione is; she has to have things planned out first. I'll go to London in the morning and see if I can find her."

"Thank you Harry."

"No problem Gin." Harry got up and walked to the door. "I'll talk to Ron too and find out his side of things. I admit something seemed off with them."

Ginny nodded in response and locked her door after Harry left. She walked back to her bed and flopped down. Hermione's trunk caught her eye. If the current situation was anything but what it was she wouldn't dare look through someone else's personal things. But she had to look for clues.

A quick search of the trunk didn't yield the results that Ginny was hoping for. It was up to Harry now to help her out. Ginny laid down on her bed and fell into a restless slumber.

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Hermione apparated into the alley near her house in London. She kept her head down and quickly made the short trek to the house and inside. After checking that all the rooms were empty and secure, she locked the house up and headed upstairs to her room.

Deciding again to check the contents of her beaded bag, Hermione dumped everything on the floor once again. She had a tent and camping gear, some clothes, a few medical supplies, and a few miscellaneous things. As she was packing everything back up again she happened upon a tightly folded piece of parchment, but instead of seeing what was written on it, she just threw it back in the bag with everything else.

Hermione went over to her desk and started up her computer. First she was going to do some searching to see if she could find what town her parents may be in. As she was waiting for her computer to start up, Hermione started rummaging through her closet for some more clothes to take with her to Australia.

When the computer was ready, she returned to the desk to begin her search. Hermione had modified her parents' memories a year ago and had given them the names Wendell and Monica Wilkins. So began the search for her parents. She found two towns that had dentists with the Wilkins name, making Melbourne and Brisbane the two places she would have to visit. Now it was on to airfare. After making arrangements to get to Melbourne for the next evening, the bushy-haired girl turned off her computer and decided it was time for bed.

Loud, crazy knocking on the front door woke Hermione up the next morning. She grabbed her wand and slowly made her way down the stairs to the foyer and looked out the peephole on the door. She saw Harry standing on the other side as he was raising his fist to knock again. Taking a defensive stance, with her wand raised, at the door, she quickly opened it and Harry stumbled into the foyer since his fist failed to make contact with the door. Harry immediately noticed the wand in his friend's hand and the raven-haired boy raised his hands in surrender.

"Easy there, Hermione. I'm just here to see if you're okay," he said quietly as he kept his eyes on the wand in front of him.

Sensing there was no immediate danger from her friend, Hermione lowered her wand and shut the door. She turned around and headed for the kitchen. "Would you like some tea Harry" she asked over her shoulder before entering the kitchen.

Harry slowly started following her and replied "Umm, sure." He entered the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools at the island bar watching his friend closely. "Are you okay Hermione? You've been a bit odd the last few days. I mean, I get it, it's all surreal you know."

Hermione stared at Harry; she felt her blood beginning to boil. "Why are you here really?" Her tone was cold and it sent shivers down Harry's spine.

"She's worried about you. Ginny, that is. She begged me to try to find you. I figured this would be the first place you'd go." Harry looked down at his hands as he spoke. He couldn't find the courage to look at his friend. "And Ron, he's… well, I don't know what he is."

"Harry, just stop." Hermione was fighting back all the things she wanted to say to him about Ron. "And tell Ron he can bugger off for all I care. I'm not his girlfriend although I'm guessing he thinks otherwise…"

The kettle on the stove started screaming, interrupting whatever else would have been said about their friend, and Hermione went to turn it off and poured the water into two cups for the tea. She handed one to Harry and took the other seat at the bar.

Harry knew by the response he got to leave the subject of Ron alone. "Let me go with you at least," he begged her. "We can find them together. You don't need to do this alone."

"No, Harry. I'll tell you like I told Gin, I made my parents forget everything and move all on my own, so it's up to me to make things right again. I have to do this by myself. I can't have any distractions."

"When are you leaving?" he asked curiously.

"Today, I'm leaving today. I have two leads to check out. Hopefully it won't take long and I'll be back soon." She was giving away more information than she wanted to, but she knew he wouldn't let things go.

"So what should I tell everyone?" He was really hoping he could share this knowledge with the others but he somehow felt that that wouldn't be the case.

"Don't tell anyone anything. You're lucky that I told you at all. I know you're worried about me, and you should be. But I beg you not to worry about me. I'm fine." She knew these words were anything but true, but she had to make him believe it.

"You'll come back to us, right?" He knew she wasn't okay.

"I'll come back here at the very least. Give me three weeks Harry. If you don't hear anything from me by then, then you can worry. But you have to promise me you won't tell anyone anything until then. I know Ginny will get it out of you somehow, but please don't let anyone else know."

"Yeah, Hermione, I promise. Good luck. If you need me, you better let me know."

Hermione nodded in response and put the tea cups in the sink. She walked Harry back into the living room, and as two sets of sorrow filled eyes met, he apparated away. Later that evening, Hermione was on a plane headed for Australia.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. **

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Harry arrived back at the burrow. Ginny had heard the popping sound of someone apparating and rushed to the kitchen door. She threw open the door and started walking toward him. Harry stopped where he was, turned around, and started walking towards the shade trees that lined the creek at the back of the property. He sat under one of the shade trees and a minute later Ginny sat down beside him.

She wanted to ask him what he found out but was afraid to. After a few minutes of silence she finally managed to ask. "Did you find her?"

"Yeah, I did. I feel like something is wrong with her. I just can't put my finger on it though." He had promised Hermione that he wouldn't tell anyone the details but he knew he wouldn't be able to keep anything from the young red head. "You were right though, she's being cryptic as hell," he continued.

"Well, where is she? Take me to her. I want to go with her and help." Ginny begged Harry to fill her in on what he knew.

"It's too late Gin. She's probably already gone. I had to promise her I wouldn't say anything about what we talked about."

"I don't care about promises Harry. I care about her. Where's she going and when is she coming back?"

Ginny was trying her hardest to be civil, but her anger was starting to get the best of her, especially since she let it slip that she cared deeply about Hermione. Harry knew all too well about the Weasley temper the family had and was desperate not to be on the receiving end of it.

"We all care about her Gin. I don't know exactly where she's headed, honestly. She wouldn't tell me. And if I tell you anything else, you have to promise me that this stays between us and that you won't get angry." Harry looked her in the eyes trying to express the truth of what he was telling her.

"You know I can't control it Harry, but I'll try." Ginny did not like this feeling of defeat. She'd felt it too much the past week and it was all she could do to keep it together. At the same time, she knew that Harry was doing his best. She knew that he had probably offered to go with her and that Hermione had more than likely turned down his offer too.

"Three weeks. She said give her three weeks and if we don't hear from her by then, then we can do something." He looked at the ground as he finished telling her this, pulling at a blade of grass.

Ginny felt tears welling up in her eyes. She looked out over the small creek and thought about what Harry had told her. She couldn't help but think that something was wrong with Hermione. The older girl had seemed a bit distant and had been shutting herself off from everyone. She thought back to the night that the war ended. Why had her best friend been standing in the rubble of the astronomy tower? And not only just being there, but the fact that she had been so close to the edge. If she hadn't had shown up when she did… No, she couldn't think that. Surely not. Hermione would never do that, right? She was the strongest person she knew.

Harry stood up and reached his hand toward Ginny to help her up. He realized she was in her own little world with her thoughts. "Gin. Come on, let's go back home." A minute went by and she still hadn't noticed him. "Gin" he said a bit louder. "Come on," he said while snapping his fingers in front of her face.

She snapped out of her thoughts and took his hand as he helped her up. Walking slowly, they made their way back to the Burrow.

"Thank you, Harry, for telling me," she said softly as they reached the back door. Harry nodded in response and they went their separate ways, Harry to the room he shared with Ron and Ginny to hers.

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24 hours later, Hermione was standing in the middle of the Melbourne Airport. She made her way through the terminal and out the front doors. She called a cab and had it take her to the nearest hotel.

Once she was in a room, she pulled out a map and the local phone book to start planning the next day. Since it was early in the morning, she wanted to give herself plenty of time to plan. She located the dental office and its proximity to the hotel. It was a few miles away, but it wouldn't be a terrible walk.

Hermione debated with herself whether she wanted to rest for the day and begin the search tomorrow or just get it over with now. Deciding on the latter, she went to the cafe across the street for lunch before heading off for the dental office. The five mile walk went rather quickly and she soon found herself standing in front of the office.

She went to open the door and walk in but it was locked. So focused on just getting there, she didn't realize the paper signs that were taped to the glass inside the door. The office was closed up and it looked like it hadn't been open in months. She found this rather odd and decided to do what she does best and look into it.

Hermione grabbed a cab and told the driver she'd like to go to the library. After a twenty minute drive, they arrived at their destination and she paid the cab driver. She walked into the library and went up to the counter. She told the lady who was working that she needed to look through some recent newspapers because she was trying to find her parents. The lady told her to go up to the third floor and that she'd find what she needed there. Hermione thanked her and started up to the third floor.

She had a feeling of worry come over her as she was walking up the stairs. For whatever reason, her heart started beating faster and her breathing became shallow. Reaching the third floor, she walked over to the periodical section and began her search. Hour after hour went by as she went through newspaper after newspaper. An hour before closing time she found what she didn't want to see.

A picture no bigger than an inch caught her eye. It was her parents. Two months ago, Wendell and Monica Wilkins had passed away in a horrific car crash. Hermione felt her whole world crash around her and the void slipped in once more.

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**I have written through ch 11, so don't hate me too bad. It's gonna get rough for Hr before it gets better.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. It's Friday and I've written ahead, so you get an extra chapter this week.**

Back to 1st person for this one

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The tears are falling down my face. I take the paper with the obituary in it to the help desk and get a copy to take with me. I stack the rest of the papers up and put them back where I had gotten them. Slowly, I make my way back down the stairs and out of the library. Instead of catching a cab, I start walking down the streets. I have no idea where my hotel is from here. The empty feeling I had back at Hogwarts is catching up with me. This pain is awful.

I have no idea how long I've been walking. It has become darker and lights can be seen everywhere. I eventually flag down a cab and have the driver take me back to the hotel. I manage to get into my room and start packing up my things. For once, I wasn't ready to go on the spot. I had anticipated being here longer.

I take one last look around the room before I head back down to check out. Another cab takes me to the airport. My ticket was a round trip with an open return. Luckily I didn't have to wait long for a flight back to London.

Once on board, I am pretty restless. My arm is hurting something fierce and I catch myself scratching the scars that that bitch left on my arm. The return trip seems longer and I can't seem to get any sleep. I can't believe they're gone. Oh god, what have I done.

Finally, I get back to London. I catch a cab to take me home because I was in no state to apparate. My home. This place holds so many memories. I should be lucky that it's still mine. When I had modified my parents memories, I had them sign over the deed to me so I would have it. I just never believed it would turn out to be like this.

After securing the house, I make my way upstairs and fall on my bed. I allow the darkness to overtake me. Screams wake me hours later. Shit, that was me screaming. That scum of a woman keeps barging into my dreams, making me relive that dreadful night at Malfoy manor. My arm is red and raw again from scratching it in my sleep.

I get up and walk to the bathroom to wash my face off with cold water. Looking up to the mirror, I don't recognize the person I see. A hellish scream works its way out of my mouth and my fist collides with the mirror, sending pieces of the glass everywhere. Blood is running down my knuckles and dripping off my fingers; I can't feel it. I can't feel anything now that I think of it. I pick up a rather nice size chunk of glass and trace my finger along its edge. The tip of my finger is bleeding slightly now. I didn't feel that cut either.

I clean up and bandage up my hand because I know that if I don't, it won't be pretty later. I pick up the piece of glass again and drag it across my arm under my scar. I don't feel it and it takes a minute for the blood to start rising to the surface. I should be able to feel this; why can't I feel this.

The sun is beginning to rise. I can't keep track of how many days it's been since I had left to go to Australia. I should let my friends know that I'm back. I should, but I know right now that I won't. But I'll send a message to them anyway.

Before I head back to my room, I make sure that there isn't any blood on my hands. It wouldn't be good to see blood on the letter that I write now, would it, especially since it was my writing hand that I smashed up. I go sit down at my desk and pull out some parchment and a pen.

_Ginny,_

_Hope all is well with you. I've made it to Australia and have begun searching for my parents. I am hopeful that I'll be able to find them and fix their memories. I have two leads at least, so at least I'm not walking blind._

_I'm sorry for leaving like I did. I know you must be upset with me. But I know your mum would have never let you come with me. I'll be back before you know it. Please don't worry about me, everything will be okay._

_You probably already know this, because I know you're good at getting what you want from people, but I hope to be back in a few weeks. I'll write you when I return._

_My all,_

_Hermione_

Fuck. I don't own an owl. How the hell am I going to send this now? I can either go to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade to send the letter. I can't really show my face at either place though. I'm too recognizable. Like hell if I'm using polyjuice again. I absolutely hated the last time I had to use it, especially because of whom I had to impersonate.

I wash up and make myself somewhat presentable. It's time for some changes and this hair will be the first to change. I apparate near the mall and make my way inside. I'm looking for a salon that can do something with this unruly mess. I finally find a place that isn't too busy and an hour later I come out with shorter hair than I ever imagined possible. It looks pretty good too. Gone is the bushy mess and unruly curls.

I start walking through the mall, not looking for anything particular. A store that has a bit of everything catches my eye. I'm used to seeing specialty stores in malls, but nothing like this. They have a little bit of clothing, but it's mostly odds and ends stuff like artwork, weird sculptures, jewelry, and incense. Some small knives catch my eye. I wouldn't have expected to see them in this place. One in particular has similar wood carvings to my wand. I pick it up and flick the blade out. It looks nice and sharp; I decide on this one purchase.

I walk back out and find a secluded spot to apparate back home; a home that will never really feel welcoming again. I go up to my room and dig out some clothes that are not my typical style and change. I walk into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror and am reminded that I had broken it by all the glass remaining everywhere. I pull out my wand and with a flick the shards put themselves back together. One area of the mirror is a bit stained in red. It looks intriguing. I decide to leave the stain as a reminder of not being able to feel.

I still don't recognize myself in the mirror. I bet no one else will either. I turn on the spot and apparate to Hogsmeade since I think it will be less crowded than the alley. I head to the owl post to send off my letter. Once I've completed the task, I go back to London.

I go up to my room and sit on my bed, pulling the knife I bought out of my bag. It looks so much like my wand; the detail on the handle is amazing. I flick the blade out again and press the edge down into my arm below the other cut and lift it back up. The blood rising quicker than the glass allowed it to. I still can't feel it.

I'm not complaining about not being able to feel, but I would like to feel something. I want to feel the pain because it would be comforting. I need comfort right now.

I grab a cloth from my dresser and wipe off the blade before retracting it. Wrapping the knife in the cloth, I put it back in my bag. I stretch out on my bed and quickly fall asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. **

* * *

The sound of something pecking at the window wakes Ginny up from her nap. Her eyes are blinking quickly and trying to focus on the window to see what's making that racket. A large, brown barn owl is sitting on the ledge pecking furiously at the window. Ginny gets up and rushes to the window to let it in. The owl flies one circle around the room and lands on her desk. She retrieves the letter attached to its leg and gives the owl a treat and scratches it on the head before it takes off out the window.

The handwriting on the outside isn't familiar making Ginny open the letter carefully. She reads it through a few times. This is not the writing that she is used to from Hermione. The words feel a bit forced.

It's been five days since Hermione had left. It would make sense that she was now getting a letter since Australia is pretty far away. But the owl didn't seem like one that would be native to Australia. It appeared to look like one from around here.

"Something's not right," she said out loud to herself.

Ginny walks slowly down the stairs into the living room where her parents are sitting. She hands her mum the letter for her to read.

"Mum, I have a weird feeling." Ginny isn't really sure what to think but she knows deep down that something is wrong.

"It doesn't look odd to me Ginny," Mrs. Weasley says while handing the letter back to Ginny.

"Her handwriting is off and the words seem forced. She's been acting odd since we all got back home. I really think something is wrong with Hermione. Can I please go to her house and check? I'll get Harry to take me."

Mrs. Weasley looks up at Ginny, clearly thinking about what her daughter has just told her. "Ask Harry to come down here. Let's let him read the letter and then see what he thinks."

Ginny yells for Harry up the stairs and he calls back down. "Harry, come down here for a bit. I've something to show you."

Harry makes his way down to the living room and Ginny hands him the letter. He reads through it a few times and mutters "Something's not right."

"That's what I thought too. Mum, even Harry agrees with me." Ginny looks at her mother, silently pleading with her eyes to let them go to London to check on her.

"One condition" the matriarch says. "Harry, you are not to let this one out of your sight. You two have two hours."

Ginny rushes to her mother and gives her a bear hug. She grabs Harry by the shirt sleeve and drags him out the back door to the apparition area. Harry holds Ginny's hand and they are gone.

* * *

Hermione wakes up and is disoriented a bit. Everything crashes down around her when she realizes where she is.

"Ugh, when is this going to end" she asks herself. She heads to the bathroom to freshen up again and heads downstairs. After checking out the kitchen and seeing that there is no edible food in the place, she grabs her things and heads out to the market down the street.

Hermione takes her time going through the store. She's gathering food similar to what she and the boys ate while they were hunting the horcruxes. Luckily now though, she doesn't have to be quite so careful and avoid everyone. She finishes shopping and gets in the queue to purchase her groceries.

After leaving the store, she ducks into an alley and places charms on the food so the cold stuff will stay cold, then shrinks everything to put in her beaded bag. She doesn't plan on going back to the house immediately. Continuing down the same alley, she heads off in a direction she hasn't been before.

Head down and arms folded across her chest, Hermione keeps wandering aimlessly. In the distance she hears some music. As she gets closer to the source the music gets louder. The beat is fast and not something she usually finds herself listening to. But she's feeling drawn to it. Her eyes are wandering, looking in every dark corner she sees, trying to seek out the source of the music.

She stops in the middle of a rather large alleyway. The pulsing music seems to be bouncing off the building walls. She slowly starts making her way into the alley and around the bend at the end. There are a few dozen people standing around outside of what looks like an unused warehouse.

"Hmm. This could be interesting" she says to herself.

Hermione continues on and walks up to the entrance and gets in the line that is forming. After standing in line for about half an hour, she finally gets to the front of the line. From listening to the others around, she deducts that it's a rave or party of some kind. The kid at the entrance tells her the cost to get in and she happily pays him. He stamps her hand and she enters the warehouse.

* * *

Harry and Ginny walk out of the alley they had apparated to and walk up to Hermione's house. Ginny uses alohamora to unlock the front door and they both enter the house quietly.

"Gin, I'll check out down here. You go upstairs and take a look around." Ginny nods her head in response and slowly walks up the stairs, wand in hand.

Ginny has never been in Hermione's house before so she's not sure which room is hers. She opens the first door to her left and finds a bathroom. Nothing out of the ordinary is obvious but as she glances at the mirror she sees a red smudge on the glass. "That's odd," she thinks to herself.

She walks out of the bathroom and continues down the hall. Slowly opening the next door she comes to, she finds a bedroom. Ginny pushes the door fully open and realizes this is her friend's room. On the wall above her bed is her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. A smile forms on the red head's face as she reads the acceptance letter. Quickly coming back to her senses and remembering what she's doing here, she continues to look around the room. There's a small pile of clothes on the floor by the closet. The desk looks like it's recently been sat at. The bed also looks recently slept in.

Ginny walks back out into the hallway and calls down to Harry. "Harry, come up here!" Harry makes his way upstairs and joins her in the bedroom.

"What did you find Gin," he asks while taking a quick look around.

"Well, it looks like the bed has been recently slept in, the desk looks recently used. Look at the clothes there. And check out the mirror in the bathroom. That looked the most odd" she tells him.

"Yeah, something definitely seems odd here," he says. Harry walks out of the room and heads to the bathroom. "Hey Gin, does that look like blood to you? There's some on the floor there too."

Ginny heads to the bathroom again and confirms Harry's thoughts. "I'm getting worried Harry."

"Me too. Don't worry though, we'll find her. Come on, we need to get back to the Burrow before you mum goes off with worry."

The two friends head back downstairs and apparate to the Burrow from the living room.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Hermione walked around the edge of the warehouse she's entered. Being the nerdish bookworm that she is, she's never been to any party or gathering outside of Hogwarts. Then again, she'd never really consider the common room real parties all that, even though some of the boys usually snuck in Butterbeer and Firewhiskey.

The beat of the house music is quick. Neon laser lights bounce off the ceiling and walls across the dance area and most of the occupants of the building are wearing neon necklaces and bracelets.

Hermione makes her way to the bar area and waits for someone to help her. She buys a bottle of water and turns around to watch people. One girl catches her eye on the dance floor. The girl has wavy dark hair, at least it looks dark but it's dark in this building. She is dancing with another girl and Hermione watches them both carefully. She glances around to other areas but her eyes keep coming back to the two girls.

Walking away from the bar, she continues in her circle around the lower level of the warehouse. A few people greet her in passing but she doesn't come across anyone that she wishes to meet. Her thoughts are still on the two girls she saw dancing. She literally walks into someone a few seconds later and nearly falls down. A hand grabs her arm and pulls her steady. Hermione looks up to see who caught her and is met with bright blue eyes of the wavy haired girl she was previously watching.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going, obviously," Hermione says to the girl, avoiding eye contact.

"No worries. It happens to the best of us. I'm Lexi, this is Sam," Lexi says pointing to the other girl beside her.

"Hermione," she answers nervously.

"You've never been to a party like this before have you," Lexi asks.

"Ah… no, not exactly. I stumbled upon it and curiosity got the best of me" Hermione replied.

"Well, join us. We've been to a few of these. We'll show you the ropes." Sam spoke up this time with a grin on her face.

Hermione looked at both of the girls carefully and thought to herself, why not. "Sure, why not," she spoke up. "It never hurts to meet new people."

"Awesome" Lexi responded. "Follow us then." Lexi and Sam led Hermione to a small table near the corner.

* * *

Ginny and Harry walked slowly back to the house and into the kitchen. Surprisingly, Mrs. Weasley was not there. Ginny took a seat at the table and Harry joined her.

"What are we going to do Harry," Ginny asked. She was very worried about Hermione and was trying her hardest to control her emotions. The feelings she had for the older girl had been growing over the last few years and she was just now able to realize what these feelings were.

"I don't know Gin. I really don't know. If she's hiding something, she won't want us interfering." Harry had so many emotions going through him, he couldn't sort them properly. The last few weeks have been such a blur, what with the end of the war, burying lost loved ones, and trying to keep up with what his friends are going though, he just couldn't focus properly.

"I can't lose her Harry. We have to try to find her. I really have a bad feeling." Ginny laid her head in her arms on the table.

Ron walked into the kitchen and eyed the two carefully. He sat down next to Harry at the table. "Hey mate," he said to the boy.

Ginny looked up when her brother spoke. "Hey, Ron. Can I ask you something?"

"Hey Gin, what's up," Ron responded.

"What happened last week with you and Hermione? None of us know what's going on." She really wanted to know something on the status of the two. No, she needed to know.

Ron went pale at the question and both Harry and Ginny noticed it. It was one topic that he really didn't want to discuss but it was either now or preferably never. So with reluctance, he told them.

"I really don't know. It's confusing as bloody hell. I thought we were okay, really. Things were going perfect. We destroyed the cup, kissed, and made it through a few near misses back to the great hall. Then she disappeared and ended up in the hospital wing. When we got home, she wouldn't talk to me. It's like she's someone else now entirely."

Ron dropped his head into his hands. This was all very confusing for him. He'd had crush on Hermione for years and had thought he'd finally gotten the girl, but was now wondering if there was any hope in that.

Ginny was trying really hard to hold her temper when she heard her brother say that he kissed the girl she was falling in love with. Her thoughts were interrupted when Harry spoke up.

"We've been through a lot the last year mate, especially that last two months. We wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her."

"Where is she anyway," Ron asked. "She just disappeared on us."

"Dunno mate. I'm sure she'll be back soon." Harry looked over at Ginny as he said this. He saw the worry in her eyes and vowed to himself that he'd help her find Hermione.

* * *

Hermione sat at the table with Lexi while Sam had left to get them drinks. Lexi pulled out what looked like a rolled cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply. She held it out for Hermione, who seemed unsure as to take it or not.

"It won't hurt; try it," Lexi said still holding the joint out for her.

Hesitantly, Hermione took it and sniffed at the unlit end. Lexi giggled at her and Hermione shot her a look. Shrugging her shoulders, she thought 'what the hell' and took a drag. The smoke burned her throat and Hermione coughed hard handing the joint back to Lexi.

Sam had returned with their drinks and Hermione was thankful to have water to cool her burning throat. "Another first," Sam asked Hermione while arching her eyebrow her.

"What gave it away," Hermione asked sarcastically.

Sam took the joint from Lexi and took a big drag and held it out for Hermione again. "It won't bite," Sam said with a grin.

Hermione took it from her and took another drag. It didn't burn as bad this time and she was able to let the smoke out slowly. She held her hand out and Sam took it back from her. Calmness was washing over her and Hermione noticed that she was feeling something. Lexi must have noticed this change.

"Dance?" Lexi stood up and held out her hand for Hermione to take.

Hermione glanced at Sam before answering. Sam simply nodded her head so Hermione took Lexi's hand and let her lead her out to the dance floor. Since she wasn't that great of a dancer, she let Lexi take the lead.

Hermione was feeling pretty good and mellow and lost herself in the music. She didn't initially notice the roaming hands along her sides and back and it was a kiss on the neck that brought her back to the present.

"I… I… I have to go," Hermione managed to get out.

"I'm sorry, I thought…" Lexi started but Hermione interrupted her.

"Don't be."

Lexi grabbed a pen out of her pocket and wrote something on Hermione's hand. "Call me sometime, yeah," she said.

Hermione looked at her hand and grinned. "Sure… until next time?"

"I look forward to it." Lexi said returning the smile. "Here, take this…" Lexi handed her another joint from her pocket. "Enjoy the rest of your night," she said and kissed Hermione lightly on the lips.

Hermione turned away from the girl, a smile spread across her face, and slowly made her way back out to the alley, finding a secluded place to disapparate home.

* * *

**I know some of you are like, where is this going. I say, stick with it. It'll get worse before it gets better, but it is going somewhere. And it's my first fanfic ever.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Ginny was sitting on her bed reading a book when there was a knock on the door. She called out for whomever to come in and saw Harry poke his head to look in before entering.

"Hey" he said to Ginny while sitting down on the extra bed in the room.

"Hi Harry" she answered, marking her place in her book and setting it down on the table by her bed.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I had a thought and wanted to get your opinion."

"Okay, what is it," Ginny asked intrigued.

"Well," he started. "I was thinking about going to Hermione's house in the morning to see if I can catch her. I was thinking about taking my cloak with me and keeping an eye on the place and follow her around, you know, see what she's up to and all."

"Will you let me go with you?" Ginny really hoped he'd say yes but she wasn't letting her hopes rise.

"I think it'd be best if I'm alone initially. We don't want to bombard her if there's something major going on." Harry knew she wasn't pushing going and realized that he'd have to come back for her quickly if things went bad. "I promise you, I'll come get if you I think you can help."

"Thanks Harry. It's as good a plan as any right now."

"I'm glad you think so Gin." He stood up and gave her a hug. "Everything will work out, you'll see."

Harry left the room and Ginny let out a big sigh. She stretched out her back and decided to take a shower before heading to bed.

* * *

Hermione remembered the groceries she had bought earlier in the day and went to put them up. She fixed herself a sandwich and sat down at the kitchen island to eat. The evening had turned out to be quite interesting and she was surprised that she was able to have some fun.

"Perhaps it's what I needed," she said to herself.

She glanced at the number written on her hand and got up to search for a notepad and pen to write the number on so it wouldn't be lost. This was the first time she'd ever gotten close to another girl, well, besides Ginny. Her stomach tingled at the thought of Ginny. '_Weird_,' she thought.

Hermione cleaned up her mess in the kitchen and started her way upstairs, stripping her clothes off as she went and dropping them along the way. She headed into the bathroom and started the shower turning the water as hot as she could stand. The brunette stood under the hot water letting it flow over her face.

She thought of Lexi kissing her before she had suddenly up and left. She didn't even really know why she had left like that. She had been actually been having fun. Maybe that's why she left; because she had been feeling things and it scared her. This confused her even more; wasn't she just wishing the previous night to be able to feel anything?

Images of Ginny flashed into her mind again and she realized that she was missing her friend. Hermione really need her friend right now, but she didn't know what to do. She had already lied to her. In all actuality, she was surprised that no one had shown up at the house any this week. Surely they would know the owl that delivered the letter was a local one.

Hermione finished washing herself and turned off the shower. She quickly dried off and wrapped herself in the towel. Walking across the hall to her bedroom, she noticed her jeans on the floor, grabbed her bag out of the pocket, and went to sit on her bed. She pulled the joint out of her bag and held it for a few minutes.

Lifting it up to her nose she smelled the length of it and remembered the calm feeling it gave her at the club. She pulled her wand out of her bag and held it to the end of the joint to light it. The first drag made her cough a bit but her lungs eventually chilled out. She took a few more drags of it before putting it out.

She opened the drawer on her bedside table and pulled out a small square box which she put the remainder of the joint in. The calm feeling was washing over her and she dug out her knife. She flicked the blade out and pressed another line into her forearm. This time she was able to feel a bit of the pain the occurred. The pain felt good. Wiping off her arm and the blade on the towel still wrapped around her, she stood up, set the knife on the table, and pulled back the covers on her bed. She let the towel drop to the floor and crawled into bed allowing sleep to quickly consume her.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Harry woke early the next morning, hoping to be able to leave before anyone else at the Burrow was up. The sun was barely staring to rise and he thought the early time would help out the stalking of his friend. He dressed quickly, put his invisibility cloak in his pocket, and went down to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee before leaving.

Mrs. Weasley walked into the kitchen just as Harry was about to walk out the door. "Where are you headed dear," she asked curiously.

"Oh, good morning, Mrs. Weasley." He wasn't really that surprised to see the Weasley matron this early, but was silently wishing she wouldn't hold him up too terribly long. "I'm just headed out to do some errands. I'll be back this afternoon sometime."

"Okay dear, be careful today. If you need anything, let me know."

"I will, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said.

"Let's forgo the formalities Harry. Call me Molly or mum. You're part of this family now."

"Thanks Molly. See you later then." Harry headed out the door and walked the end of the garden to apparate to London.

Harry pulled his cloak out of his pocket and put it on before leaving the alley. The sun was barely rising so he was sure that Hermione wouldn't be awake just yet. He walked the couple of blocks to her house and quietly let himself inside.

Seeing clothes dropped along the floor and stairs, he knew she was home. He felt again that something was terribly wrong with his friend because she was never one to leave her belongings scattered around. He sat down on the couch in the living room and waited for her to wake up.

Hermione woke around 8 that morning. She sat up in her bed and stretched her back. Standing up and grabbing some clothes off the floor, she made her way into the bathroom. She got dressed and washed off her face at the sink. Glancing in the mirror, she saw the dark circles that had been making themselves an everyday presence under her eyes. She also noticed the lack of light that reflected in her eyes. This shell that she's become has not been very good to her.

She wandered back into her room and stood looking around. She was feeling empty again and needed something to feel better. She sat down on the edge of her bed and picked up her knife. Hermione pulled up the sleeve of her t-shirt, flicked the blade out, and drug the blade across her bicep. The blood instantly started oozing out and running down her arm. The pain of the cut felt comforting and she sat there staring at the trails making their way down to her fingers.

Hermione cleaned off the knife and put it in her bedside table. Not bothering to stop the bleeding or clean her arm, she made her way downstairs into the kitchen. She made herself a cup of coffee and a couple pieces of buttered toast.

Harry saw her walk through the living room and had followed her into the kitchen. He stood just inside the doorway, still covered with his invisibility cloak, and watched her make the coffee and toast. The sight of the blood on her arm immediately set an alarm off in his head.

Hermione leaned against the counter eating her toast. She was in her own little world when Harry decided to speak up.

"You know everyone is worried as hell about you Hermione. How long have you been back?"

"Bloody hell, Harry! You just scared the shit out of me! Show yourself." She was angry and scared. '_Crap_,' she thought to herself, '_I didn't clean off my arm_.'

Hermione turned around to the sink and grabbed the towel off the counter to wet it and clean off her arm before Harry could see anything. Harry pulled off his cloak and stuffed it into his pocket and took a seat at the island.

"You didn't answer me Hermione," he said. He watched her as she frantically cleaned off her arm. He guessed that she was trying to hide it from him.

"I was only gone a few days," she told him. '_God, why can't I lie to him_' she thought to herself.

"Are you okay? Because you don't look okay. What happened to your arm," he asked her without slowing down.

"I'm fine Harry, honestly." Hermione turned back around to face him. "Why are you here?"

"I already told you, everyone's worried about you, especially Ginny."

"Well, you needn't hardly worry about me Harry. Look, I'm perfectly fine. I told you not to worry about me."

"Maybe so, but you also said that I needed to all the same. What happened in Australia?" Harry realized Hermione was trying to dissuade this conversation, but he was adamant to get the information from her. "You're back a lot sooner than you expected to be. I'm guessing the news isn't good."

Hermione lifted her arm and with a flick of her wrist, summoned the obituary copy from her bag. Harry looked at her with wide eyes. He had never seen her do wandless or wordless magic before, much less the two combined. She placed the obit on the island and stepped back, taking a sip of her coffee. Harry read what was presented to him and his eyes grew even wider.

"My god Hermione, are you okay?" He got up from the stool and walked around the island and scooped her up in a bear hug.

Tears started streaming down the older girls face. "I'm dealing Harry. Really, I'm okay."

Harry stepped back and held her at arm's length. "Would you be okay with Ginny coming to see you? She wanted to come with me, but I wouldn't let her. She's really worried about you." He searched her face trying to gain eye contact.

Hermione looked up and could see the worry spread across his face. "Yeah, sure, Harry. Give me time to pick up around here though."

"Excellent. I'll be back in an hour then."

He gave her another quick hug and walked into the living room. Hermione followed him to watch him leave and immediately started to panic when he disapparated. She picked up the clothes along the stairway and dropped them on the floor in her room.

With a panic attack feeling imminent, she opened her table drawer and pulled out the small box. Carefully opening it with shaky hands, she pulled out the joint, lit it with her wand, and took a few deep drags while holding each breath as long as she could and letting it out slowly. She snuffed the joint out again and put it up. Grabbing the knife off the table, she added to the lines already started on her arm. After adding five or so lines, she was starting to get a bit light headed. She managed to get the knife cleaned off and put away before passing out on her bed.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Harry had expected Ginny to meet him before he got to the door. He let himself in the house and it was only Mrs. Weasley who greeted him from the kitchen.

"Hi Molly, is Gin up yet," Harry asked.

"She hasn't been down yet dear. I'm sure she'll be up soon though."

"Okay, thanks. I'll just head up and see then."

Harry left the kitchen and went upstairs to Ginny's door. He knocked softly before gently opening the door and peeking in to see if she was awake. He let himself in the room and closed the door behind him and walked to the bed and sat on the edge. Ginny was still sleeping so he nudged her on the shoulder slightly to wake her.

"Hey Gin, wake up. I need you to come with me."

Ginny's arm swept back and hit Harry in the arm. "mmmm… leave me alone…. sleeping…" she mumbled out.

"Ginny, get up; I found her," he said a bit louder this time.

Ginny rolled over to face Harry, eyes still closed as she was only half awake. "What are you on about Harry?"

"Hermione," he stated simply.

Ginny quickly sat up in her bed and stared at Harry. "Is she back? You found her? Where is she?" The questions came out quick and she was getting up and grabbing clothes before Harry had a chance to answer them. "Close your eyes Harry."

Harry did as he was told and Ginny got dressed quickly. As he held his eyes closed, Ginny watched the swell of emotions cross his face. She deducted pretty quickly that something was going on and he wasn't saying.

"Harry," Ginny started, "you're not telling me something."

He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her uneasy, debating with himself if he should let her know the state he found Hermione in this morning. He was very worried about their friend and didn't know what to do to help the girl.

"I don't know what to tell you Gin." Harry stared at the floor as he spoke. "She's different; something changed with her. I think you're the only one that can help her. I know you and I have had our differences, but I think you need her and she needs you, whether she realizes it or not."

Ginny's eyes went wide as Harry confessed his thoughts to her. She had been so sure that her feelings toward Hermione had gone unnoticed by anyone.

"Well, what are you waiting for? You know I can't apparate alone yet." Ginny grabbed Harry's arm and drug him out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door. They got to the end of the garden before Harry spoke up again.

"Gin…" a worrisome tone rang in his voice.

"Yeah Harry?" She looked at him quizzically.

"She's not in a good place… I'll give you the space you need so I'll come back here after a few minutes. I'll stick around long enough to make sure everything is alright."

"What are you not telling me Harry?" Ginny was getting upset at the boy and was trying her hardest not to let her temper get the best of her.

"You'll see soon enough Gin," he answered her solemnly. He gave his friend a comforting hug and they felt the immediate pull of apparition taking them to London.

Ginny and Harry walked slowly up to the house, stopping at the front door. Harry knocked slightly on the door before trying to turn the knob. It opened immediately which worried him a bit. They walked inside and Harry shut the door behind them and locked it. The living room looked better than it had earlier that morning, so Harry knew that Hermione had cleaned up some.

"I need to show you something first, if it's still down here. Hang on a sec."

Harry walked into the kitchen to check if the obit was still down here. Unfortunately it wasn't. As he walked back to the living room where Ginny was waiting, he thought back to how Hermione had summoned it. '_It had to have been an accio_,' he thought. He stopped next to Ginny, closed his eyes, raised his hand, and concentrated. With a flick of his wrist he thought '_accio obituary_' and the paper came soaring to his hand.

Both his and Ginny's eyes were wide in amazement. "What did you just do Harry?"

"I can't believe that worked. Hermione did it this morning. I've never seen her do wandless and wordless magic before. But that's beside the point. Here, read this." He handed the paper to Ginny for her to read.

As Ginny read the obituary, her knees nearly buckled under her. "Oh god, Harry. Don't leave yet. I'll go up and find her."

Harry went to sit on the couch as Ginny made her way up the stairs. She peaked into the bathroom on her way by, however it was empty. The door to Hermione's room was open and Ginny let out a loud gasp as she saw Hermione face down on her bed. As she got closer to the bed, she noticed the red stain under Hermione's arm.

"Hermione! Oh, what did you do?"

Hermione was unresponsive as Ginny rolled her over. Ginny listened closely for breath sounds and watched for the rise and fall of her chest. Trails of dried blood were visible on Hermione's arm. She lifted the sleeve of Hermione's t-shirt to see where the trails started at. Eyes wide and a hand covering her mouth, she slowly stood up and walked backwards to the bedroom door.

"Harry!" Ginny's voice was suddenly hoarse and she had to clear her throat to speak up. "Harry… get up here… now!"

Harry was startled to hear Ginny yelling at him. He got up and rushed to Hermione's room. His mind refused to process what he was seeing.

"I… I... don't know what to do," Ginny said between sobs.

"Let's get her cleaned up Gin."

Ginny nodded her head in response and went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth. She returned to the bedroom and started cleaning the blood off Hermione's arm. Harry searched the room for Hermione's bag to see if she still had any dittany left. After searching a few minutes, and forgetting to use accio, Harry finally found the bottle he was looking for and returned to Ginny's side.

"Here Gin, this will heal the cuts." He handed the bottle to Ginny so she could continue cleaning and healing Hermione's arm.

Once all the cuts were healed, Ginny levitated Hermione so Harry could clean the sheets. Ginny then gently lowered Hermione and crawled into the bed with her and held her.

"You can head back home Harry. Will you let mum know where I am? We probably shouldn't tell her about this just yet."

"Okay Gin. Send your patronus if you need me. I'll check back later."

"Thanks Harry."

Harry nodded to Ginny and took one last look at Hermione before turning and leaving. Ginny got comfortable on the bed and snuggled Hermione closer to her, holding her tightly.

"Mione, I'm here. It'll be okay. I've got you," she whispered into the brunette's ear.


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

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Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs._ She could feel the edge of a blade against skin and the maniacal laughter of a mad woman. Bellatrix had taken her time carving Mudblood into Hermione's arm. By the time Bella finished, Hermione started to welcome the feel of blade against skin._

Strong arms held Hermione in place as she struggled to come out of the dream. Giant sobs wracked her body and she had a hard time catching her breath. It took her a few minutes to realize that she was being held and she heard the shushing in her ear.

"You're okay Mione, I'm here. I have you. You're safe. No one's hurting you." Ginny repeated the words until Hermione calmed down and realized she was there.

"Gin…" Hermione started to say but was interrupted by sobs. "What are you doing here? What time is it?" Hermione was trying to recall the events of the day. She hadn't had a nightmare in weeks and this one was hanging on for dear life. As her thoughts suddenly snapped into focus, she remembered the morning leading up until she had passed out on her bed. _Oh no _she thought to herself.

"I have no clue what time it is. I fell asleep too. Harry brought me over here. He said you knew I was coming over." Ginny still hadn't released her hold on the brunette until she felt something tickle her face. She reached up to rub off whatever it was and saw that she had blood on her hand. "Damn."

"What Gin?" Hermione asked.

"Let me up, I think my nose is bleeding." Hermione sat up so Ginny could get up. She walked to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and saw the trail of blood that was running down her face from her nose. It also appeared that her nose may be broken as some bruising was starting to show.

"Are you okay Gin?" Hermione asked. She had walked to the bathroom door and was standing in the doorway.

"I will be" Ginny replied. "My nose might be broken though." She washed off her face as carefully as possible.

"Oh Gin. I'm so sorry. I don't trust myself to fix it. We need to get you back home."

Hermione was apprehensive about the suggestion of going to the Burrow. She wasn't ready to face the rest of the Weasley family and knew that if she went over there that she would be asked all kinds of questions that she wasn't ready to answer.

"I'll be okay Mione. Mum can fix it later. Right now, I'm here for you."

"I'm fine Gin, really. I don't know why everyone is suddenly fussing over me." Hermione looked down at the floor as she said this. She couldn't bring herself to look at Ginny in the eyes because she knew what she was saying was far from the truth.

Ginny stared at Hermione. "I'm not blind Hermione. Do you even know what you looked like when we got here? Did you even notice that you're no longer covered in your own blood? Or that your bed has been cleaned up? Bloody hell, Hermione, do you even know that you _were_ covered in your own blood? You're not fine Hermione." Ginny was able to keep her temper in check. She was more worried than anything because something was obviously wrong for Hermione to be doing what she was doing.

Hermione glanced up at her friend and a single tear fell from her eye. She turned around and walked back into her bedroom and closed the door, locking it with a wave of her hand. Once more, she pulled the small box out of her bedside table and walked over to the window and opened it. She pulled over the chair from her desk and sat by the window. Hermione pulled the remainder of the joint out of the box and lit it with her finger. While taking a slow drag off it, she realized that she had suddenly been doing a lot of silent, wandless magic.

Ginny just stared at the empty space that Hermione had vacated. She cursed herself for not holding her tongue and at the same time was surprised that Hermione didn't react to what she had said. '_Hell_,' she thought to herself, '_I just buggered this all up.'_ She finished cleaning up her face and walked back to Hermione's room to see the door closed. After knocking lightly, she tried to open the door only to find it locked.

"Hermione, I'm sorry. You can't deny that I'm wrong though. Let me in, please. I want to be here for you. I can't do that if you won't let me," she pleaded through the door.

With a sigh, Hermione took one last drag of the joint, snubbed it, and tossed it out the window. She held her breath until her lungs burned before letting breathing out. Staying in her chair, she waved her hand and unlocked the door. Upon hearing the click, Ginny slowly opened it and walked in. Hermione remained in the chair, staring out the window. Ginny walked over to the bed and sat down. Neither girl was willing to start talking.

After sitting in silence for ten minutes Ginny got up and walked over to Hermione, kneeling down in front of her. She took Hermione's hands in her own as she looked up at her friend. "Hey. I'm sorry for pushing but I beg you, please don't push me away." Hermione's gaze remained out the window. "Mione."

Upon hearing the nickname that few called her, her attention snapped back to Ginny. She gazed into the eyes of the youngest Weasley and saw them filled with love, pain, and unshed tears. Lacing her left hand with Ginny's right, she reached up and stroked the side of her friend's face, her own eyes following the trail that her fingers ran. Breathing seemed to stop when Ginny closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. Ginny then reached up and laced her fingers with the ones resting on her face, pulled Hermione's hand back and placed a soft kiss in her palm.

Hermione slowly got up and wrapped her arms around Ginny, hugging the girl tightly with Ginny retuning the motion in equal strength. Hermione then pulled back, caressing Ginny's cheek before gently placing a kiss where her hand was. She walked out of the room without saying a word.

_'I wish you'd quit leaving me Mione_,' Ginny thought to herself was she watched Hermione go.

* * *

**Updates may come a bit slower unfortunately. I'll try my hardest to keep on schedule but you know how life gets.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Hermione went to the kitchen to make some tea. She needed to calm her nerves and the mixed feelings that she was currently having. The whistle of the kettle brought her attention back into focus and she added the hot water to the cup that was waiting. As she was stirring the tea in her cup she noticed the notepad that she had written Lexi's number on. Taking a drink of her tea, she raised her hand to summon her cell because she wasn't about to walk back up the stairs to face Ginny just yet.

The phone landed in her palm and she flipped it open to send a text. '_Hey Lexi, it's Hermione from the other night. What's up?' _Hermione pocketed the phone after sending the brief message and sat down at the island to enjoy the rest of her tea.

Ginny waited a few minutes before leaving Hermione's room and went downstairs to find her friend. She leaned up against the door frame when she found her in the kitchen. '_Here's to breaking the awkwardness now' _she thought. "I like your hair Hermione. The cut looks good on you."

Hermione slowly turned around on the stool she was sitting on to look at Ginny. "Thanks Gin. There's still some water ready if you want some tea."

Ginny pushed off the door frame with her shoulder and entered the kitchen, walking to the other side of the island to make a cup of tea for herself. Hermione's phone had vibrated in her pocket and Ginny caught the movement of her friend getting her phone out.

Hermione flipped open her phone to read the message she had received. _'Hi Hermione. Not a lot happening at the moment. Doing anything tonight?'_

Ginny saw the flicker of a smile grace Hermione's face. She watched Hermione as she tapped on the buttons with her fingers. "What's that?" she asked Hermione.

Hermione had just finished her reply to Lexi, _'Not sure at the moment. I do feel like getting out though. What do you have in mind?' _She looked up at Ginny, the smile gone from her face. "It's called a cell phone. You use it to talk to others or send text messages; similar to using the floo to talk to someone."

"Okay. So who are you talking to or whatever?" Ginny was rather curious who Hermione could be talking to as it seemed she never had many muggle friends.

Hermione avoided locking eyes with Ginny as she replied. "Oh, just someone I met the other night. I was asking them what they're up to and if they're doing anything tonight."

The phone buzzed again and she opened it up to read the text. _'I think it's a great night to go to a club. Sam is at work and I could use a dance partner. Want to join me?'_ Hermione thought for a few minutes on how to reply. She would love to go out and have some fun with Lexi but Ginny was here.

Ginny watched Hermione's facial expressions closely. She could tell that the girl was thinking hard about something but she wasn't sure what was going on and was afraid to ask too many questions.

"Do you have any plans tonight Gin?" '_Why did I ask that? I want to be able to relax and have fun. I'm not sure I can do that around Ginny. I don't quite think she would approve of my sudden extracurriculars.'_

"Um… I have no idea. Harry said he was coming back later to check on things. If you want me to stay I will; if not, then I'll leave." Ginny looked up at Hermione as she continued speaking, "In all honesty, I'd rather not leave. So if you'll have me, I'm up for doing whatever you'd like to do."

Hermione started pushing buttons on the phone again, _'I have a friend staying with me. Is it okay if she comes too? If not, I understand. But I don't think she'll let me out of her sight for a while.'_

Ginny raised an eyebrow when Hermione finished tapping on the phone. It buzzed again after another minute and Hermione flipped it open. _'Hmmm. That could be fun, right? I'll pick you up later. Give me your address.'_

'_It'll either be fun or it'll be dreadful. Either way, I need some enjoyment. ;)' _Hermione also replied with her address and put her phone in her pocket when she was done. She looked over at Ginny, who was looking intently at her tea cup. "Alright, we're going out tonight with this friend. They'll pick us up later." Ginny could only nod her head in response.

"Are you hungry? Let's go find somewhere to eat. I don't have much here to make a proper lunch." Hermione got up from the stool and held her hand out for Ginny to take. She hesitantly reached up for Hermione's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Hermione pulled her close, hugging her tightly. Hermione leaned back slightly, her fingers resting on the back of Ginny's neck while her thumb caressed her cheek. Dark chocolate eyes found lighter brown ones.

Hermione broke out of the trance and leaned up to kiss Ginny on her forehead. "Come on, let's go eat and do some shopping. I'm gonna run upstairs and change real quick. Wait for me in the living room?"

Ginny nodded her head in response and reluctantly pulled away from Hermione. She turned slowly and started making her way into the living room while Hermione followed behind her. Hermione dashed up the stairs to her room and started rummaging through her closet to find something to wear that would cover up her scars. After a few minutes of searching, she found a shirt that would work and she quickly changed. She grabbed her bad off the table and dumped the contents onto the floor at the foot of her bed. A folded up piece of parchment caught her eye. She had remembered seeing it before, but had never looked at it. Slowly, she unfolded it to see what it was.

_Hermione,_

_I know you and the boys will be leaving soon on your quest. I wish I could go with you. Harry won't have it. He broke up with me again. I wish he would stop being so damn noble, but I get it. And I won't be taking him back again. He's more like a brother to me anyhow._

_There are so many things I wish I could say to you. I'm not even sure I can write them down, but I am attempting to try. I have no idea when you'll read this as I have to figure out how to sneak it into your bag without you noticing, which is hard to do since it's always with you._

_Do you really have to leave? If something happens to you… I don't even want to think about losing you. I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me. We have bonded so much the last few years. I can't even describe what my feelings for you are, but they're there and they're strong. I think I might be in love with you and I wish I could actually tell you._

_Come back safe to me Mione._

_Love always,_

_Ginny_

Hermione ended up in the floor with her back against her bed and a hand over her mouth. She clutched the parchment in her hand and reread it over and over. She came to her senses after a few minutes and remembered that Ginny was waiting for her downstairs. She folded the parchment back up and put it in her back pocket while standing back up. Wiping off the tears that managed to run down her face, she grabbed her now empty bag and went downstairs.

"Ready?" she asked Ginny.

Ginny nodded her head in response and got off the couch and walked to Hermione. She took Hermione's hand in hers and Hermione apparated them close to the mall.


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you to those who have left reviews.**

* * *

Hermione led Ginny into the mall and they made their way to the food court. Ginny remained quiet during their meal which worried Hermione, but she knew not to press the issue much. She knew that if Ginny wanted to voice her worries that she would. Ginny didn't know what to expect tonight and it was bugging her. She couldn't quite put together what she was feeling, but she was thinking that she might be a tiny bit jealous. Who was this friend that they were going out with?

"Ready to shop," Hermione asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Ginny replied.

"She speaks! I was starting to think you weren't going to speak to me anymore." Hermione was attempting to keep her words light but she wasn't sure if they were coming across that way or not.

"Sorry. I don't know what's wrong. What are we shopping for today?" Ginny got up and took her trash to the rubbish bin. When she turned back around she nearly knocked Hermione over. "Sorry Mione. I didn't know you were behind me."

Hermione tossed her trash in the bin and smiled at Ginny. "It's okay Gin. I didn't mean to startle you. Come on, we're looking for clothes to wear tonight." She grabbed Ginny's hand and started leading her through the mall.

* * *

"What about this?" Hermione held up a glittery black spaghetti strap tank.

Ginny shrugged her shoulders in response. She wasn't really paying much attention or trying very hard to find something to wear for tonight.

"I know you don't do black much, but you're gorgeous hair will stand out more," Hermione added.

Ginny looked up at Hermione, trying to figure out if there was more meaning in her words. "It's alright I guess."

"Go try it on. I bet you'll look fabulous in it."

Hermione smirked at Ginny as she handed the top over and followed her towards the dressing rooms. Ginny entered the dressing room and leaned back against the wall. She took a deep, calming breath and hung the shirt on wall hook. _'Let's get this over with'_ she thought. She quickly took off her t-shirt and pulled the tank on. Not bothering to look in the mirror, she took another deep breath and slowly opened the door.

Hermione's breath hitched as she saw Ginny step out of the dressing room. "Wow… Gin. You look amazing in that."

Ginny watched Hermione as eyes traveled up and down her body. She couldn't quite figure out the emotion that was in her friend's eyes when they met hers. Ginny could feel the heat of a blush rising from cheeks to ears and her hand came up suddenly to rub the back of her neck as she looked down to hide the redness in her face.

"Uh…. Thanks." She quickly backtracked into the dressing room and changed back into her t-shirt. Staring at her reflection in the dressing room mirror, she willed herself to calm down and took several deep breaths before dragging herself to a waiting Hermione.

"So..." Hermione said as Ginny walked out of the dressing room. "That top is a must. I'm thinking jeans instead of a skirt. Casual and comfortable." She lead Ginny back over to the racks to browse through some more.

* * *

By the time the girls finished up their shopping, several hours had passed by. Hermione apparated them back directly into the kitchen instead of the nearby alley to save them time. Well, it wasn't really a matter of saving time, just that it wasn't necessary anymore since it was her home now.

"We should probably make something to eat before getting ready. I doubt wherever we go will have food. Take a look around and see what you'd like to make. I'll be back down in a few."

Ginny only nodded in response as she began looking through the cabinets and fridge for something to make for dinner. Hermione just shook her head and took the stuff they bought up to her room. Noticing the pile of books and whatnots from cleaning out her bag earlier, she put things away. She couldn't help but think of how quiet Ginny had been all afternoon and was getting worried about how tonight would go. She needed a nice night. Hell, she needed a night where she wasn't thinking about everything that's happened in the last year. She needed to not think about the fact that her parents are gone. She needed to know that Ginny was truly here for her.

Hermione got the new clothes that she had bought out of the bags and paused by her bedside table. She grabbed her knife out of the table and took everything into the bathroom. Setting everything next to the sink, she held the knife in her hands and sat down on the floor, leaning against the counter. She pulled off her shirt and stared at her arm. Seeing where mudblood was carved made her stomach turn and memories from that night flooded her mind. She flicked the blade out and held the flat side along the letters, hiding them. Tears started streaming down her face and before she realized it, she was curled up in the floor crying.

Ginny had been looking through the kitchen and was waiting for Hermione to return to ask her what she wanted to eat because she just couldn't decide on anything. After waiting for fifteen minutes, she went upstairs to look for Hermione. The bedroom was empty so she went back towards the bathroom to see if everything was ok. Ginny had her hand raised to knock but stopped when she heard soft sobs. She slowly opened the door, saw Hermione in the floor, and rushed to her side.

"Mione, what's wrong love?" She kneeled next to Hermione and scooped her up in her arms. Hermione's hand had relaxed its hold on the knife and it fell to the floor. Hermione held onto Ginny as tight as she could. Her tears showed no signs of stopping and she couldn't catch her breath to say anything. "Come on, let's get you in the shower. I'm sure that'll help."

Hermione nodded into Ginny's neck. "Alright, up we go." Ginny held onto Hermione as she got them both up on their feet. She kept her arm around her as she reached over to turn the water on in the shower. Hermione still had her head buried in Ginny's neck, so she reached up and lifted up her chin with her finger so she could look at her properly. "Can you do this on your own or do you need my help?"

"Don't leave me Gin." It came out in barely a whisper as Hermione couldn't quite find her voice.

"I would never leave you Mione. Come, arms up."

With shaking hands, Ginny lifted Hermione's shirt up and off. Hermione's arms came back down and rested on Ginny's shoulders. With her right hand, she trailed her thumb over Ginny's eyebrow and down her cheek before fingering the hem of Ginny's shirt. Hermione looked at Ginny, seeking approval to remove her shirt. Ginny could only give a nod, her voice once gone again. Each took turns removing articles of clothing before helping the other into the shower.


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you to those who have left reviews.**

* * *

Hermione and Ginny stood under the water holding onto each other in complete silence. All that could be heard was the steady, concentrated breathing of each girl. While both had feelings for the other, neither really knew how the other felt. Well, Hermione had a better idea now after finding that note in her bag, but whether those feelings were still true remained unknown. She wanted to say something about the note, though right now was not the right time. All she could do at this moment was relish in the fact that she had Ginny in her arms, albeit naked, but in her arms nonetheless.

Without saying a word, Ginny positioned Hermione under the water to wet her hair. She reached back for the shampoo and massaged the product into Hermione's scalp. Ginny smiled to herself when she heard soft moans emitted from the other girl. Hermione returned the favor after her hair was rinsed out.

With her back to Hermione, Ginny was rinsing the shampoo from her hair while Hermione poured some body wash into her hand and started rubbing it onto Ginny's shoulders, back, and her arms, admiring the muscle movements under her touch. Ginny turned around to face Hermione and reached up to caress her face. Knowing that this was not the appropriate time or place to let her feelings completely take over, she gave Hermione a soft, quick kiss on the lips and got out of the shower.

Ginny dried off and dressed quickly and before leaving the bathroom, doing a quick glace around. She spotted the knife on the floor and picked it up. Folding the blade back in, she pocketed it for a conversation that would hopefully take place soon. Right now though, she had to get ready for whatever they were doing tonight. She headed across to Hermione's room and put on the new clothes that they had bought and got ready for the night. When she entered the kitchen, Harry was sitting at the bar.

"Hey Harry, I forgot you were coming back over this evening," Ginny said to him as she walked around the island to make a cup of tea. "Cup of tea?"

"Sure Gin. Everything going okay? You look great by the way."

"It's been an interesting day," she started, handing the cup of tea over to Harry. "Apparently we are going out tonight with a new friend of Hermione's. I have no idea who this friend is nor what we're doing. To be honest, I'm a bit apprehensive about it."

"I'm sure it'll all work out. Have you talked to Hermione about this morning?" he asked quietly.

"No. But I'm sure the conversation will come up soon. Perhaps tomorrow. But, as long as I have her knife, she can't hurt herself." Ginny pulled the knife out of her pocket, showing it to Harry.

"Actually Harry, why don't you hang onto it? Hide it in my bedroom somewhere. There's a loose floorboard under my bed." Harry nodded in response and pocketed the knife. "Are you hungry? I need to figure out something to make for dinner before we go out."

"Sure. Let's see what we can come up with," he said as he got up and walked around the island and started looking in cabinets.

* * *

Hermione was a tad stunned that Ginny left the shower. Then again, hadn't she done nearly the exact same thing to her this morning? She finished up in the shower and got out. Mere seconds later, without realizing it, she was staring at herself in the mirror and realized that her hair and body were completely dry. She has gotten so used to not using her wand that she never realized until now that she could do things by barely thinking them.

She stayed in the bathroom to get dressed and do her makeup. Her attire for the night was casual and comfy which consisted of dark distressed denim jeans, a tight fitting emerald green t-shirt that happened to have an otter on the front, and finished off with a pair of black Converse. She decided to go minimal on the makeup front and chose only eyeliner and mascara. Once done, she checked the time on her phone, saw it was nearing 7:00, and realized that they hadn't made dinner yet. Taking one last look in the mirror, she cast a simple glamour on her arms and headed down to the kitchen.

She stopped in the doorway when she saw Ginny and Harry cooking, the smell of bacon and eggs hitting her senses, and smiled at the sight of her two best friends together. Hermione pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent another text to Lexi to see what time they were to expect her. She took a seat at the bar and waited for her friends to realize she was there. A few minutes later her phone buzzed with the reply she was waiting for, '_I'm thinking 9. Not too late, not too early._' She replied with '_Excellent! I can't wait._'

An owl pecking at the window got everyone's attention. Hermione got up slowly and walked over to the window to let it in. It flew in a wide circle around the kitchen before depositing the letter in Hermione's hands. She had barely gotten the letter flipped over to see the Ministry seal before another owl came swooping in. The second letter was from Hogwarts. Hermione stood there staring at the letters in her hand. It was Harry who eventually broke the silence.

"I got a letter from Kingsley too. He wants me to join the Aurors program and help continue looking for escaped Death Eaters. He came to visit us at the Burrow last week."

"I'm not doing that Harry. I refuse. I want nothing else to do with this bloody war, fighting, or anything else. Is it too much to ask to be left alone?"

"That might not be what he asks you to do. Open it and see."

Hermione set aside the letter from Hogwarts and began to break the seal on the letter from the Ministry slowly opening it.

_June 12, 1998_

_Miss Hermione Granger: _

_I am pleased to inform you that you have been awarded the Order of Merlin First Class for your involvement in the Second Wizarding War and the downfall of Lord Voldemort. A substantial reward has been added to your vault at Gringotts._

_I also wish to invite you to join the Auror program at the Ministry. Your final year at Hogwarts, as well as NEWT scores, will be waived if you choose to do so. _

_Yours Most Sincerely,_

_Kingsley Shacklebolt_

_Minister of Magic_

"Your optimism was wrong Harry. He asked if I would consider joining the Aurors," she said, tossing the letter down on the bar.

Hermione picked up and buttered a piece of toast while looking at the letter from Hogwarts. She couldn't deal with it right now, she was just ready to get on with the night and enjoy it. Glancing at her watch, she saw they still had an hour until Lexi would be here to pick them up. She picked up the letter from Hogwarts and went to sit on the couch in the living room, leaving Harry and Ginny in the kitchen.

_Dear Miss Granger,_

_I wish to invite you back to Hogwarts to finish your Seventh year studies. I do understand the hesitancy you may face with making this decision, considering the events of the last year. Follow your dreams Hermione, for they will lead you well._

_Term begins on__1 September__. I hope to see you at the welcome feast. _

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Headmistress_

Ginny walked into the living room as Hermione was placing the letter back in its envelope. She watched with curiosity as Hermione set the letter aside, leaned back on the couch, and ran her hands through her hair, lacing her fingers behind her head. Ginny walked up to Hermione and knelt in front of her.

"Everything okay love?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah. No. God Gin, I don't know. I'm trying really hard to keep it together. It's too much." Hermione leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"You're not alone Mione. Please know that. I won't leave your side if that's what you need. Right now, you need to relax. When is your friend coming?"

"She said 9. Soon, I imagine."

"Does _she_ have a name? Or do I get to figure that out later too?" Bitterness rolled off the tongue. Or was it jealousy?

"Really Gin? Now you're going to pull the jealousy card? I just wanted to have some fun tonight. With you I might add. I happened to meet Lexi a few nights ago. I don't really know her that well." To say that Hermione was a little frustrated with Ginny's reaction was putting it lightly. She felt hands stilling her arms. Looking down, she realized she had scratched her arm raw again.

"Hermione! Hermione, stop! Look at me." Ginny desperately tried to get her attention. "I'm sorry, Hermione, I am." The doorbell sounded, pulling their attention from the situation.

"Can we discuss this tomorrow?" Hermione asked.

Ginny stood up and reached out for Hermione to take her hand, pulling her up into her arms. "I told you I'm not going anywhere. It's tabled for tomorrow."

"Alright. Let's go."

The girls walked out the front door, forgetting that Harry was still there. He had watched the whole conversation and was feeling pretty worried about Hermione. After making sure the front door was locked, he went back into the kitchen and cleaned up, apparating back to the Burrow when he was finished.


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you to those who have left reviews.**

* * *

Hermione and Ginny followed Lexi to her car and got in. The tension from what had just happened was thick in the air. Ginny sat quietly in the backseat while Hermione took the front seat. Realizing that neither Hermione nor Ginny were going to converse, Lexi decided to break the silence.

"How was your day Hermione?"

"Oh, uh… okay I guess," Hermione replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Where are we going? You never said where."

She was quick to change the subject so her thoughts wouldn't be stuck on the missed chances. Hermione knew that they had feelings for each other now. It was pretty obvious to her so it had to be for Ginny as well.

"Well, I figured we'd check out The Dark Room. I've heard it's a great place. Haven't been there yet myself."

Twenty minutes later found the female trio parked in front of the club. Hermione grabbed Ginny's hand to help her out of the car. She pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear, "Let's have some fun love. Yeah?"

"Yeah," replied Ginny.

Hermione took Ginny's hand in hers and they followed Lexi into the loud club. Cigarette smoke hung thickly in the air by the bar. The girls made their way towards the tables in the rear where the music wasn't quite as ear shattering. Finding an empty one in the corner, Hermione and Ginny sat down close to each other.

"So who wants drinks," Lexi asked them point blank, leaning over the table so she could hear their responses.

Ginny looked at Hermione to gauge her response. "Water will be fine I guess," Hermione answered. "That's fine for me too, thanks," Ginny said. Lexi winked at the girls and took off for the bar to get the requested drinks.

"Are we okay Gin?" Hermione had to lean close to Ginny to avoid shouting.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Ginny paused briefly before continuing. "Look, I know the last year has been rough for you. I know you're dealing with things that no one should ever have to deal with alone. I've already told you that I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere love. If I lost you…" The last bit was spoken softly and it didn't appear that Hermione had heard it.

"Just making sure Gin. Today's been kind of weird."

Weird it had definitely been. All day they tread around each other. From Harry showing up unannounced this morning to their afternoon long, quiet shopping trip, the day had also proven tiring to Hermione. She was trying her damndest to stay strong for Ginny when all she wanted to do, really, was crawl up in a ball in her room and hide from the world. Something had to start giving sometime, right?

Lexi returned with drinks for everyone; water for Hermione and Ginny and a mixed drink for herself.

"What's that you're drinking?" Hermione asked Lexi.

"The best liquid courage ever, Rum and Coke! Ever had one?"

"Can't say I have," Hermione replied.

"Here, try it. It's not too strong, I promise," Lexi said with a wink.

Hermione picked up the glass and took a sip of the alcoholic drink. "That's not too bad," she said as she set the glass back down.

"Keep it," Lexi said, sliding the glass back towards Hermione. "I'll go get another one." Lexi left the table again to go back to the bar.

"I'm sorry about today, Mione. I'm not sure why I was so quiet. It's unlike me, I know," Ginny said.

"It's okay Gin. I think I know what's up though. We'll discuss it tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure," she replied as Lexi returned to the table.

"So what do you girls think of the place? It's not too bad I guess. I thought it would be a bit livelier though," Lexi said to them.

"It's definitely not like the place we were the other night," Hermione replied.

"Well, if this place ends up being a bust then I know of another location to scout out. That is, if you two want to. Come on, Hermione. Dance with me?"

Hermione looked over at Ginny. Was it approval she sought or something else? "Um… okay."

Lexi held out her hand for Hermione. She was hesitant to take the offered hand but relented as to not hurt any feelings. She hoped to whatever god was listening that Ginny wouldn't be upset by this.

They ended up in the middle of the crowded dance floor. Hermione was wishing that she had downed the rest of her drink before being drug out here. While the night had not been terrible yet, she was struggling to find comfort. The liquid courage, as Lexi had called it, would have been very helpful right now. What she really needed was to be out here with Ginny. She was the one that Hermione wanted to be with. She also wanted her nerves to calm, but was afraid to ask Lexi if she had brought anything to help with that. Instead of dwelling on all these wants, she instead closed her eyes and focused on the music, attempting to lose herself in it.

Hands roamed along Hermione's sides and fingers grazed down her back. Lexi had moved closer to her and was dancing mere inches behind her. The song changed to a slower beat and with it hands rested on her hips. Hermione felt the soft graze of lips on the back of her neck and a moan escaped her lips.

"Isn't your friend going to join us out here," Lexi whispered in Hermione's ear while wrapping her arms around her waist.

"No idea," Hermione answered, relaxing into Lexi.

"You like her, don't you?"

"Is it that obvious?" Hermione asked, shaking her head in disbelief that Lexi had picked up on it already.

"Only to those who know the signs. I've noticed how you two look at each other. I'm guessing you both need a push in the right direction?"

"Who knows? Maybe."

"Well judging by the looks I'm getting, if they could kill, I'd definitely be dead. So what kind of push do we need?"

Hermione glanced over her shoulder to look at Lexi. "I'm not sure…" Before she could finish what she was saying, her lips were captured by Lexi's. The kiss took her by surprise but she soon found herself responding to it. Not only responding, but also turning around in Lexi's arms.

Silence soon surrounded Hermione as she lost herself in Lexi. The sound of everything around them was lost as she gave into feeling something other than pain and agony.

* * *

**Sorry for ending this chapter here. I had planned on more, but the rest just wasn't coming to me yet.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you to those who have left one. Sorry for it being a bit short.**

* * *

Ginny had not taken her eyes off of Hermione the entire time she and Lexi had been dancing. They appeared to be getting a little too close to each other and she decided she needed to do something about it. '_Now or never_' she said to herself.

Picking up the remainder of Hermione's drink, she downed it and the one that Lexi had left behind as well. The pace of the music was changing again and Ginny got up and headed for the dance floor, slowing down as she reached the edge. She slowly made her way past couples and turned down an offer or two to dance.

Ginny tried her hardest to keep her cool, refusing to let her temper get the best of her. Had she not been so quiet today and actually tried to discuss things with Hermione, maybe she wouldn't be in this position right now. Witnessing Lexi kiss Hermione and seeing Hermione fully give into it was pushing every anger and jealousy button she had. She knew how this night would end though. She'd be the one taking the girl home. Well, to Hermione's home anyhow, but maybe it would be hers one day also.

Gliding up behind Hermione, extremely close but not touching her quite yet, she fell into the rhythm of the music. As Hermione and Lexi broke their kiss, Ginny gently placed her hands on Hermione's hips, letting her know she was behind her.

Lexi leaned forward to whisper in Hermione's ear, "She's all yours," winked at Ginny and left the two girls on the dance floor.

Hermione leaned back into Ginny, trying to press herself into her friend as best she could as they swayed to the music. She reached up behind her and held onto the back of Ginny's neck, trying to get closer still. Ginny wrapped her arms around Hermione's waist and leaned down, placing feather-light kisses on the back of her neck, her fingers playing with the front hem of Hermione's shirt. Hermione reached for Ginny's hand with her free one, entwining their fingers and Ginny pulled back her arm, effectively spinning Hermione around in her arms.

Eyes locked and neither girl could look away. Their dancing becoming slower and slower until they were just standing in the middle of the dance floor. Ginny reached up and ran her finger along Hermione's jaw before pulling her forward by the back of the neck to kiss her. Hermione thought her legs were going to fail her and she had to grab onto Ginny to keep herself standing. What had started as a slow, gentle kiss turned into one that was full of passion and need.

The heated kiss eventually broke when the need for air became a necessity and that somehow Ginny had ended up with her back against a wall. Hermione looked into Ginny's eyes as both girls caught their breath. Eye contact ceased when Hermione reached up to trail a finger along Ginny's jaw, letting her thumb glide across Ginny's lips. "Let's go home," Hermione said quietly.

Rendered speechless again, Ginny simply nodded her response, never breaking eye contact with the girl she has grown to love over the years. Hermione entwined their fingers once more and lead Ginny out of the club. The walked in silence for a few blocks until Hermione was satisfied that they were far enough away from prying muggle eyes and could apparate away without being noticed. She would have to remember to call Lexi later to thank her.

Appearing in the living room of Hermione's home, both girls once again had their arms around each other. Hermione stroked Ginny's cheek with her thumb before pulling her in for a searing kiss. Ginny's hands were resting on Hermione's hips and she was tracing half circles with her thumbs just under the hem of her shirt. They stared into each other's eyes as the kiss ended, each waiting for what the other would do.

Ginny pulled Hermione back in for another kiss, one languid in nature, trying to convey her feelings through it. She sucked on Hermione's bottom lip and flicked it with her tongue while grabbing the bottom of Hermione's shirt and slowly began lifting it up. They found themselves slowly walking tangled together toward the stairs. Shirts became discarded as they made their way up, stumbling but never losing their momentum. Shoes were kicked off when they got to the top, the only moment when they didn't have their hands on each other. Still on the move, they neared the bed, helping each other remove the remaining items.

Falling onto the bed, neither stopped to think about what was happening as each was lost in the action. Kissing, touching, and giving way to the pure ecstasy that it was. Each giving in to the other until they fell asleep in each other's arms.


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you to those who have left one. **

* * *

Harry apparated to Hermione's place early the next morning. Mrs. Weasley wanted Ginny to come back home because she felt the family needed her there. The family was already struggling to hold itself together and with her only daughter not being home, it was harder for the matriarch to keep everyone calm. Harry felt bad intruding so early, so he went straight to

the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. Before he could even get started though, a blood-curling scream echoed through the house.

It was this high-pitched scream and flailing arms that woke Ginny out of the most amazing, realistic dream she had ever had. After taking an elbow to the head, she managed to get her arms wrapped around Hermione's body and held her in place although Hermione was still struggling to get free from whatever was happening in her nightmare. During their struggling, the sheets ended up tangled around their legs, although neither girl was aware of it.

"Hey," Ginny whispered in her ear. "You're okay. I'm here. No one's hurting you. I've got you. I'll keep you safe love." She kept repeating herself until screams faded into sobs and the struggling body relaxed in her arms.

Harry had run up the stairs as fast as he could and stopped in the doorway. Embarrassed as he was at the scene in front of him, he couldn't make himself turn around. When Hermione had quite struggling against Ginny, he managed to turn around and he cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"Fuck, Harry! A bit more warning next time, mate," Ginny exclaimed as she hastily covered them up with the sheet.

"I am so sorry, Ginny. I heard the scream and came running. Wasn't expecting to see… this," he said, gesturing with his arms. "I'll wait downstairs. Breakfast will be ready soon then, yeah?" Harry went back to the kitchen without another glance to the bedroom and one again started the task of making breakfast.

"Mione, love. We better get up now that poor Harry's been given a show."

Hermione tucked her head further into Ginny's shoulder. She did not want to get up and face this day already. Her head was still swimming with images from her never ending nightmare. She knew Bellatrix was dead. She knew she herself had survived. But why couldn't she get past all this? Why did she still feel so empty and lost? Last night had been everything she had ever wanted.

She watched as Ginny slowly get out of bed and got dressed. Not ready to quite face the morning just yet, Hermione stayed sitting in bed for a bit after Ginny left the room. She leaned over to open the drawer on her bedside table but couldn't find what she was looking for. The force of the drawer being slammed shut knocked one of the picture frames off the table.

Hermione leaned over to pick it up and upon seeing herself with her parents, tears were instantly streaming down her face. Without giving it a second thought, she threw the picture frame as hard as she could away from her. It shattered upon impact when it collided with the closet door.

The sound of glass tinkling along the floor brought her tears to a stop. Slowly, Hermione stood up and quietly walked towards the closet and the shattered bits of glass that were everywhere. Kneeling down, she began to search for a piece that would suit her needs. She held hovered her hand, palm down, above the pieces and closed her eyes. Her hand was steady except for the slight movements that were coming from her fingers. After about a minute had passed, she closed her hand around the piece that came to rest against her palm.

Hermione slid backwards to sit against the side of the bed. She opened her hand to look at the glass that was resting in her palm. Holding it up in front of her, she watched as the sunlight that was filtering into the room pass through it and cast colors upon the wall. She took a deep breath and pulled the sharp edge across her arm. Across the damnable scar that just would not give way. Across the reminder that she was a worthless, know-it-all, insufferable mudblood.

Tears began trailing down her face again as she thought of all the negative things that she had heard over the years. Even Ron, her supposed best friend, had done it in their first year. She watched as the blood congealed along her arm. Tossing the piece of bloody glass back on the floor, she stood up and got dressed. She repaired the broken picture frame and put it back on the table. In one corner, the glass still showed a smudge of red; a reminder to herself that she was broken. Waving her hand over the new cut, she cleaned off her arm and left the room the join the others.

* * *

Ginny had headed downstairs to where Harry was making breakfast. "Good morning Harry," she said entering the kitchen.

"Hey Gin. I am so sorry for barging in on you guys," Harry said, his cheeks and ears turning a nice shade of red. "I heard her scream so I ran upstairs."

"She's been having nightmares and I have no idea what they're about. She woke up from one yesterday too, after you left. At least it was you and not my brother who walked in. I can't even begin to imagine the reaction Ron will have to this. Although I'm pretty sure Hermione made

her point with him last time they saw each other, going by the red handprint that was left on his face," she said, smirking as she sat down at the bar.

Harry snickered out loud at the comment Ginny made about the last day they were all at the Burrow. "Yeah, he's still being pretty thick about all that. He seems to think that she just needs time and that she'll come around. That this is just a result of the last year," he said, shaking his head at Ron's antics, sliding a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of her.

"Thanks Harry," she said before digging into the food. "I guess I'll deal with him when I get back home. Maybe he'll listen to me, though I doubt he will. Did you decide if you're going to take Kingsley up on the Auror offer or not? I assume that's what Ron will do."

"I've been thinking about it. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do. Ron is leaning toward taking Kingsley up on his offer. He said as much last night anyway. In all honesty, I'm tired of fighting and running. I think a quiet year would be nice. Maybe I'll even finish school and take my NEWTS, just try to feel what it'll be like without the threat of a madman trying to kill me."

"Good for you Harry," Hermione said, walking into the kitchen, heading for the other stool. "And Ginny, you'll do no such thing with Ron. He isn't your problem to deal with."

"Alright 'mione, I won't say anything. But if he continues to be a git towards you I won't be able to stay out of it," Ginny state mater-of-factly as Hermione started to eat the food Harry had placed in front of her.

Harry fixed himself a plate last and stood eating opposite the girls at the bar. "So what about you Hermione, are you going to finish school and get all one hundred of your NEWTS?" he asked jokingly.

Hermione rolled her eyes at his comment. It was rather nice to just be able to sit around and joke around with her two best friends. This was definitely something she had missed lately. Not only missed, but needed. "McGonagall did send me a letter yesterday offering a spot for me. It's not like I have anything else to do right now, so I guess so. In all honesty, I could really care less at the moment."

Harry and Ginny's eyes shot up from their plates as Hermione paused; both looking at her like she was crazy for saying such a thing.

"What?" Hermione asked, looking at Ginny then Harry.

"Who are you, and what did you do with Hermione?" Ginny finally managed to ask.

"I'm still me Ginny. It's just that a lot has happened in the last few months and it's made me see things differently."

"Well alright then," Harry said as he started gathering the dishes to wash.

"Harry, you don't need to do the dishes. I can do them later," Hermione said when she noticed what he was doing.

"You sure? I don't mind you know."

"Leave them Harry. You can do them next time. I promise."

"Alright," he said reluctantly. "I suppose I should get back. Molly sent me to bring you home Ginny." He looked up at Ginny warily as he anticipated her reaction.

"What?" Ginny blurted out.

"Ginny, it's ok. You can come back later." Hermione said. "I have things to take care of today anyhow. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be following me around all day as it is."

"I would follow you anywhere Hermione." Ginny said looking up at her.

"I know Gin. But the stuff I have to do today, I need to be alone for." Hermione looked over at Harry seeking his help in the matter but he didn't say anything.

"If it'll help Gin, I'll get the floo connected here. Then you can come over whenever."

"Alright," Ginny answered after thinking it over. "Come on Harry. Better not keep mum waiting any longer."

Harry and Ginny walked into the living room as Hermione trailed a few steps behind. Without a glance back, because he knew it would be too difficult for the girls at the moment, Harry looped his arm through Ginny's and disapparated them to the Burrow.

Hermione turned back around and walked back to the kitchen having a sudden craving for some coffee. Her phone vibrated in her pocket as she was preparing the coffee maker. She fished it out of her pocket, wondering who it was messaging her so early in the day.

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**Updates for the next 10 weeks will likely be few and far between. I have to focus on school as I am nearing the completion of my Bachelor degree.**

**This story doesn't have a finite plan, though I do have ideas for it. I'd love to hear suggestions/scenarios you readers may have. Good ones may get implemented.**


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you to those who have left one.**

* * *

_'Are you busy today? I really need to talk to you.'_ The text was from Lexi. Hermione groaned to herself. She didn't want any distractions today and Lexi was sure to be one.

_'Free at the moment but I have a lot to do today.'_ Hermione texted back.

_'Great! Be there in a jiffy.' _

Not even 30 seconds went by before the doorbell rang. Hermione went back into the living room to answer the door.

"You aren't stalking me now are you?" Hermione asked with a grin.

"Never darling. I was in the neighborhood." Lexi replied as she walked past Hermione into the living room.

"No one happens to just be in this neighborhood," Hermione replied with a raised eyebrow, stepping aside to let Lexi in. "Would you like something to drink? Tea, water, coffee?" she asked as she headed for the kitchen. _'Firewhiskey would be good about now,'_ Hermione thought to herself.

"Alright, you got me. Tea is fine. I don't know if that'll be strong enough for you though," Lexi said as she sat down at the bar.

Hermione went about getting the kettle ready and put it on the stove to warm up. She would love to just be able to use magic to ready it right now, but knew it was impossible in front of a muggle like Lexi.

"So," Lexi started, not waiting for the awkwardness to set in. "I came here to tell you something rather important. At least I think it is."

The kettle whistled sharply, making both girls jump. Hermione hurried to make a cup for Lexi and set it front of her, staying on the opposite side of the island bar from the girl.

"So the thing is, I'm staying with my aunt right now. We were talking about some stuff and I mentioned you by just your first name. I didn't even know your last name, I do now, but that's beside the point." Lexi was rambling and Hermione was trying her hardest to keep up with what was being said.

"In all the world, how many people have the name Hermione? One. I looked it up online. I know who you are and while it should probably frighten me a bit, because I hear you have quite a reputation, it doesn't. Which made me realize that I needed to let you know about me. I'm a stranger to you, but we are so similar in many ways." Lexi reached behind her and set her wand on the counter. Hermione's eyes widened at seeing this. Noticing the wide eyes, Lexi immediately raised her hands. "No need to be scared of me. I live and go to school in America and just happen to be staying with my aunt this summer for the first time in four years. To which I say thank you to you and your friends for what you did for our world."

Hermione didn't know how to respond to this knowledge. She wanted to run, to get far away from here as possible. And while in theory it would be possible, it would not be wise. "Excuse me for a bit," Hermione said before leaving the kitchen and going upstairs. She locked herself in her room and started pacing back and forth.

Lexi got up slowly from the bar stool and pocketed her wand. She headed upstairs to find Hermione. The sound of glass shattering had her sprinting towards the door to her right. She tried to open it but it was locked. She pulled her wand out to unlock the door to no use. Hermione had locked the door tight. Knowing she'd never figure out the charms in time, she kicked the door in.

Hermione was balled up on the floor sobbing. Lexi noticed the blood trailing down her arm and laid down on the floor behind Hermione, pulling the girl close to her.

"What I said can't be that bad, can it?" Lexi asked quietly. "There's no need for this. You made it through that damn war; you can make it through whatever you're facing now. I know we don't know each other well, but damn girl, I'm here for you."

Hermione nodded her head and sat up, wiping tears from her face. "It's been two bloody months since the war ended. Almost four since this one night that I can't get out of my head. It just won't go away. I feel so empty all the time and this…" she said, pointing at her injured arm, "this helps me feel." Hermione was the one rambling now but she had to get it out.

"There's a better way to cope with this stuff you know. This… this will end up killing you one day." Lexi reached for Hermione's arm to help her clean it up. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Hermione summoned a towel and as it sailed through the air toward them, Lexi's eyes were round in astonishment. "I've heard you were brilliant, but wow."

"Oh yeah, that. It's a new development apparently. I have no idea when I started doing silent wandless magic, it's just become the norm since I got back from Australia."

Lexi started helping Hermione clean off her arm and she noticed the scars. "Oh honey," she said as she traced the word scarred across her arm. "Who in the hell did this to you?"

"It was the Death Eater, Bellatrix," Hermione replied, tears trailing down her face. "She used a cursed knife. It won't even scar on top of it; believe me, I've tried. She wanted me to know my place."

"Bellatrix Lestrange?" Lexi asked, shocked that someone could live through torture by her hand. "God, I've heard of her. Have you had anyone look at it yet? I wonder if there's something that can be done."

"The one and only. She died in the Battle at Hogwarts thanks to Gin's mum." Hermione closed her eyes tight, trying not to think about that night, willing the memories to stay at bay. "I don't even know if Gin noticed it yesterday. Only a few people have seen it as I keep it charmed when I'm out."

"Hmm… I wonder if ink will cover it. You could put a bad ass tattoo on your arm and cover it up. I'll help you look into it if you want. I'm pretty good at charms and potions, but I bet you're better."

"Yeah," Hermione laughed. "Brightest witch of the age nonsense. I don't feel it anymore though. I'm broke and I don't know how to come back from this."

"Well," Lexi started. "You take it one day at a time. And you keep those dearest to you the closest. I bet your girl would help you out if you asked her."

"You know, I didn't even know that she liked me until yesterday. I found a note she left for me in my bag before the boys and I set out on our journey. We haven't even talked about anything yet. I'm sure she'd be here right now if Harry hadn't had to come get her. Molly, her mum, seems to be keeping everyone in their family as close as she can. Gin, well she lost a brother during the battle at Hogwarts."

"I take it last night turned out well?" Lexi asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, you could say that," Hermione said blushing.

"So… change of topic… What do you have to do today? I'm free all day and I could use some company myself today."

"Uh…" Hermione started, suddenly blanking out on what she had to accomplish for the day. "Oh, I have to go to the Ministry and get my floo set up so Gin can visit easier, since she can't apparate yet. I also have to go to Gringotts and check my account. Apparently the Ministry gave me money for my part in the war and I have no idea how much is there."

"Alright then. Get cleaned up hun. I'll wait for you downstairs okay," Lexi said while standing up.

Hermione nodded and Lexi held her hand out to help Hermione up.

* * *

Harry had apparated he and Ginny near the broom shed behind the Burrow. He let go of Ginny's arm and noticed the sorrowful look in her eyes.

"Everything okay Gin?" he asked.

"I don't know Harry. I badly want to say yes, but I'm worried about her. She's cutting herself Harry! Why? Why is she doing this? We're going to end up being too late one day. And with mum hovering over us, how are we going to be able to be there for her when she needs us the most?"

"I know Gin. Hermione knows that we love her too. She knows that we're here for her when she needs us. She's even getting the floo opened up at the house so you can go over there without me escorting you. Not that I mind, mind you." Harry wrapped Ginny up in a hug as she started crying, holding on to her tightly.

"I… I need some time alone Harry. Tell mum I'll be close. I promise not to go off the property."

"Sure Gin," he replied, lessening the bear hug some. "You know I love you Gin. You're like a sister to me. I'm here if and when you need me."

She nodded her head in acknowledgement and started to turn away. "Thanks, Harry," she said as she kissed him on the cheek before walking away towards the woods.

He knew where she was headed and that she needed some time away from prying eyes. He'd be there for her when she was ready. Standing up straight like the proud big brother he now was, he boldly walked toward and into the house, ready to face the possible wrath that was Molly Weasley.

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**I want to say thanks to all of you who read this. I consider this story part of my therapy for dealing with my everyday problems. It's good to just escape sometimes. I would love to hear some feedback and suggestions. I have an idea where I'm taking this story, but I don't know quite where it will go. I do have some ideas floating around, but I'm pretty much just writing without a plan. I'm will also try to write longer chapters from here on out. Let me know if you think I'm being too detailed or the plot doesn't seem to be going forward fast enough.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Yes, I finally updated! Give a guy a break, I haven't quite felt like writing lately. No caution required for this chapter, just a bit of anger being lashed out. Enjoy!**

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Half an hour later Hermione was downstairs and ready to go. "So, uh, is your car in the drive or by the curb? I thought maybe we'd travel the easy way today."

Lexi jumped up off the couch when she heard Hermione, one hand holding her chest. "Christ girl. You just scared the shite out of me."

"Sorry, I thought you'd hear me coming down," Hermione replied.

"I uh, I don't have my car today actually. I apparated over here," Lexi said somewhat shamefully.

"I hope you didn't just pop up on the porch. It's not exactly a wizard friendly neighborhood. The backyard or the alley across the way are the best choices."

"No worries there. I apparated to the alley. I saw it when I picked you guys up last night."

"So, have you been to the Ministry here?" Hermione asked, changing subjects while holding her arm out for Lexi to take.

"Can't say I've had the pleasure," came the reply along with a smirk.

A soft pop and a blink later found the two girls in the atrium of the Ministry. Hermione didn't dawdle any and immediately led the way to the information desk to find out where they needed to go.

Hermione was thankful that Lexi had accompanied her today. The stares and standing about of the majority of Ministry patrons were working her nerves making her wish she were elsewhere. They made their way as quickly as possible to the lifts and proceeded to level 6 and the Department of Magical Transportation. The girls stepped out of the lift into the lobby and walked up to the front desk.

"Um, hi," Hermione said to the lady attending. "I wish to speak to someone about opening the floo at my home."

"Name?" the nameless lady asks without looking up.

"Granger. Hermione Granger."

"Yes, sure you are," the lady replies without looking up.

"Yes, I am." Hermione responds surly. "Surely I don't need to go get Kingsley to assist me in this god-forsaken place! Are you going to point me where I need to go or not? I don't have time for this!"

Lexi glances over at Hermione with an eyebrow raised and a smirk gracing her lips. Definitely don't want to get on her bad side, she thinks to herself.

The lady of the desk lifts her head so fast at Hermione's outburst that people standing close by could clearly hear the pop of vertebrae in her neck. "Miss Granger," she stutters out, "please accept my apology. You'll wish to visit with Mr. Sanders, end of the hall on the right."

"Thank you," Hermione replies and swiftly starts walking in the given direction. Lexi scrambles to catch up with her.

Hermione stops at the last door in the hall and knocks on the door, stepping inside when she hears "come in."

"Mr. Sanders? Hermione Granger. I wish to set up the floo at my house."

"Ah, Miss Granger. How lovely to meet you. Yes, yes, let's see what we can do for you."

Mr. Sanders pulls out a rather old, tattered ledger from a drawer in his desk and proceeds to open it somewhere towards the middle. After shuffling through about thirty or so pages, he finally finds what he's looking for.

"Oh dear," he says, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Sir?" Hermione starts.

"It seems that I can't activate your floo dear. You see, it is unlawful to do so in the house of muggles. Surely you understand this?"

"No muggles live there, sir," Hermione replies. "My parents died this last summer. It apparently was a horrific car accident while on vacation."

"Can this be verified Miss Granger?"

"Yes sir," she says while reaching into her faded and torn handbag. "Here's their obituary sir. I just recently found out. They had gone to Australia and I never heard from them. I had to find out the truth of the matter myself by going down there and searching for them."

"My condolences Miss Granger," he replies as he hands her back the obituary. "Do you know the status of the property? Was it indeed left to you? I'm sorry to ask all these questions, but we have to know for sure. I'm sure you understand this?"

"No, I'm not quite sure I do sir. Of course everything would be left to me! I was their only child! Perhaps I should go get Kingsley after all. I know he would never stand for this kind of treatment."

"Now, now Miss Granger... "

"Oh don't you Miss Granger me! I'm the reason you're bloody well still alive! If it weren't for me, you-know-who would still be alive and we'd all be dead. And yes, I am on a first name basis with our dear Minister. Are you going to open my floo or not?"

Lexi was finding it quite difficult to not laugh out loud at the incredulous look Mr. Sanders was giving Hermione. He looked like a fish out of water as his mouth was opening and closing so quickly. Seeing as he couldn't quite shake the shock of Hermione's outburst, she cleared her throat quite loudly.

"It'll be set up before you arrive home Miss Granger! No need to get the Minister involved now is there?"

"Oh I think he will be involved anyhow. I haven't quite had the best experience in this office."

Hermione turned abruptly and stomped out the door back toward the lifts with Lexi hot on her heels. Once inside the lifts, they both breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was brilliant!" Lexi said to Hermione. "I never want to be on your bad side. That was scary brilliant."

Hermione simply grinned at Lexi's comment. They arrived back in the atrium and proceeded toward the floos so they could go to their next destination, Gringotts Bank.

Hermione had barely taken a step inside the bank before she was suddenly grabbed and pushed back against a wall. She didn't have a clue as to what was going on and was trying not to let her anxiety rise. Her mouth opened to protest what was happening but she couldn't speak. She heard Lexi screaming at someone nearby and strained her ears to hear what was being said.

"We know who this thief is. She is not welcome here!" The speaking goblin turned to look at Hermione. "You are not welcome here thief," he spat out while emphasizing the last word.

"I never stole from you!" Hermione cried out. "You know why we were here that day, and you know exactly what it was we took. If you want me to pay for what I did then let's work something out.. But if that's the road we take, then I suggest getting Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley here, as well as Kingsley Shacklebolt."

The goblin recoiled some as the mention of Harry, Ron, and Kingsley but he dared not step back.

"Look," Hermione calmly continued, "I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here. I simply want to check the status of my vault."

A loud bang of the front doors surprised goblins and wizards alike.

"What is the meaning of this, director?" Kingsley asked in his bold, baritone voice.

The goblin looked disgustingly at the minister. "This is no concern of yours Minister. The thief is not welcome here."

"Miss Granger is no thief, director. She stole nothing of value from this bank. The object you accuse her of taking housed a piece of Voldemort's soul. A piece that had to be destroyed in order for him to be destroyed. Or do you wish that he were still here and you were at his mercy? Let her go, now."

The two goblins holding Hermione against the wall looked on in fear, eyes bouncing between the director and the minister. Slowly, they backed away from Hermione and disappeared before the director could say anything. Thanks shown in Hermione's eyes as she looked at Kingsley.

"I believe Miss Granger wishes to visit her vault," Kingsley reminds the director.

Fury still flashes in the goblin's eyes, though he withdraws to avoid further conflict with the minister. Turning swiftly, he walks toward the back of the bank, glancing back to see if the wizards are following.


End file.
